There is actually nothing worse in a relationship like having your partner suffering from depression.It is really heart aching watching them go through this dark period of life.Usually many relationship fail or end because of it.Especially when the situation start wearing on both parties.



Depression makes people think irrationally and causes them to be blind to the good things in life, like you. They will make you feel like everything you do to try and make their world a little better is a wasted effort. It isn't, though.

The fact that you are there beside them means more to them than you will ever realize. They wouldn't blame you for leaving and will sometimes try and make the decision easier for you. They don't really want you to leave, though. They want you to be with them and help if you can.

The first thing that you can do to help them deal with their depression is to understand it. Educate yourself about this mental disorder. Seek out to find what causes it. It could be because they lost a job or did something that brought on a feeling of failure. There are many reasons that it could have started but one thing is certain, even if you are in a strong relationship, depression, once it has begun can snowball.

You will need to make sure that you take care of yourself in this relationship. Depression, gone unchecked, can be contagious. When you are learning about depression make sure that you are watching for signs that you may be exhibiting. If you are then you should be quick in seeking help from psychologists or counselors. Once both of you start falling into depression it may be impossible for either of you to see the light of day. When you start getting worn down because of the weight of it all try and take some time to step back away from it and take care

A past relationship and depression sometimes go hand in hand. When a relationship has failed it is easy to feel like every relationship after that is doomed to fail. Once someone begins feeling that way they will many times turn their current relationships in to a failed one. If this has begun to happen it is important to get relationship advice from marriage counselors and work with them to prevent it. This is not the only reason that marriages or dating relationships fail while one is in depression. Just the strain will cause it to suffer. Seek relationship advice from trained professionals as much as possible.

Never give up always believe that your efforts and presence are all part of the treatment for depression.There are few things more powerful than what can come from a strong relationship. Treatment for Depression without medicationis very possible when the one you love has you to depend on. With a strong relationship depression can be beaten.

Stress-Free Holiday Season

The holiday season can be, if we let it, a very stress filled time of year. There is pressure to over shop and over spend; decorating, and entertaining. For those who are single or away from family, this can be a lonely time. People can feel left out and isolated. For other families, simply getting together can lead to tension and worse. One of my clients commented that she had no good memories of Christmas as a child. She said her mother was so stressed out about things having to be just so at Christmas, that all she could remember was that she always seemed to be in trouble and her mother was always angry with her.


Regardless of your personal holiday history, you can choose to find peace and happiness at this time of year. Here are some suggestions for creating peace and happiness:
• Choose to slow down
• Choose to feel and express gratitude
• Choose to be generous with your time and your love
• Choose to SMILE
• Choose to take a deep breath or several if necessary
• Choose to create happy memories
• Choose to keep things simple
• Choose to be playful and see things from a child’s perspective
• Choose to find joy in the small moments
• Choose to give gifts that say, I know you, rather than cost a lot
• Choose to make and stick to a budget (Trust me this will make after the holidays more peaceful and happy)
• Choose to expect to have a great time NO MATTER WHAT

Holidays in general breed unrealistic expectations. The minute you start wondering, 'is it going to be wonderful enough?,' it never will be.
Pepper Schwartz

Make up your mind that you are going to find ways to enjoy the holiday season. Decide that you are going to create peace and joy for yourself and let that feeling ripple out among those that you know and come in contact with. Remember: How we treat family members or clerks at the store or people in traffic is so much more important than what we buy or who we impress.

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

Merry Christmas

My heart to you is given:
Oh, do give yours to me;
We'll lock them up together,
And throw away the key.
Frederick Saunders

It’s getting close to that time of year where give our loved ones gifts and presents; so I decided to give you some gifts.



The first is a list of advice that has been given to couples:

• Be best friends.
• Court each other forever.
• Choose happiness over being right.
• Your partner comes first, before anybody or anything.
• Balance couple time and you time.
• Remember, foreplay never stops; it goes on day after day.
• Never assume.
• If you are doing things that cause you to think or say “I
can’t tell my spouse this,” you shouldn’t be doing it.
• Always compliment each other. "Tell your wife that she
looks pretty even if she looks like a truck." Ricky, age 10
• When you vent about your spouse, you need to say three
positive things as well.
• Always make time for the two of you.
• Fight fair, respectfully and focused.
• Sometimes marriage is a bed of roses and sometimes there
are thorns.
• Understand that most marriages go through rough patches and
the best time to seek help is at the start, when you still like
each other.
• Remember that people do fight. It's how you do it that
matters.
• Respect each other's privacy.
• Never Keep Secrets.
• Surprise each other now and then.
• Have date night! Dates are for having fun, and people
should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have
something to say if you listen long enough. Lynnette, age 8
• Hold hands. "They want to make sure their rings don't fall
off because they paid good money for them." Dave, Age 8
• Talk daily.
• Choose the one you love, then love the one you choose. "One
of you should know how to write a check. Because even if you
have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills."
Ava, Age 8
• Never compare, you always loose.
• Fight naked. ;)
• Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?
• The secret to a happy marriage is two TV's!
• Keep family, friends and in-laws at a distance in marriage.
• Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.
• It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys
need somebody to clean up after them. (Anita, Age 9)
• No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has
something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and
deodorant are so popular. (Jan, Age 9)
• Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You
might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as
love. (Alonzo, Age 9)
• Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you
never take out the trash. (Randy, Age 8)


And the second gift is permission to laugh and have fun with each other and with your relationship. As you can tell from the above list other people’s viewpoints are often humorous and insightful. So in your marriage look at things from each other’s perspective and see how that feels to you.

Marriage is a serious and sometimes trying undertaking and we often get so caught up in that part of it that we forget to enjoy it.

Remember, you got married because of how you felt, not only about each other but also how you feel when you are together. The greatest gift you can give each other is your total and unconditional love; that and patience and generosity. Take care of each other and have a Merry Christmas season.

Dallas Munkholm, B.A., B.Com., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

Marriage and Kids

Relationships between a man and a woman can be and are great. We do things together; travel, vacation, laugh and play, we have sex and then we have kids. I have heard people, parents, say “when is it our turn.” Or one or the other of them saying “I never get the same time and affection, the same respect and consideration as the kids.” And all too often this is a legitimate question or statement. We, as parents are so much more concerned about the welfare of our children then about each other or ourselves.

It is a fact of life that we need to put our own life, our own needs, and our own concerns on hold when we have children, especially little ones. We can’t be enjoying that afternoon delight while our two year old tries to cook supper. Or we can’t be working on our intimate connections when our teenage daughter is in the midst of her first break-up. It just does not work that way. So, when do we get “our turn,” when do we receive that same love and affection, respect and consideration and the same time for us?

We all want what is best for our kids. We do whatever it takes to help them to be safe, loved and help them to grow. “That is just what moms (dads) do,” my grandmother says. “Sacrifice everything for our children, they are what we really leave behind. Our success or failure in life is measured by success or failure of our kids.”



“You should have seen what a fine-looking man he was before he had children.”—Arapesh Tribesman Give up our selves for the betterment of our progeny, I think not. Sacrifice is great, help our kids out is fantastic, giving them the world is terrific, but not at the cost of our selves. We will be better parents and partners if we take care of our selves. Individuals need time to be alone, no matter what age our kids are or what is going on in their lives.

At times, and it is usually the mother, one of the parents gives more to the children and leaves the partner to fend for themselves. Time, well spent, together as a couple is one of the greatest gifts you can give each other. That same time well spent as a couple is the greatest gift you can give to your children. I guarantee that you will be a better parent if you are happy in your marriage, you enjoy spending time together, you make efforts to find ways of doing that. In fact, you are a better anything you choose, whatever role it is if you are happy with your life at home.

As parents we need to make every effort to give as much, if not more, to our partner. Time and effort are needed in that relationship as well as respect, love, consideration and sacrifice. Because sooner or later your kids will all leave and you still want to know that person sitting across the kitchen table from you. It is one of the greatest escapes in life when we can ditch the kids with mom, or a trusted friend, for the weekend and spend that time lounging around is some romantic place. Even if it is your own bedroom and your vivid imagination. You need to do this at least once every three or four months.

Parents need time away from their offspring as much as kids need time away from their managers, er, parents. Vacations away from kids are great as well. Not that I’m saying that we never do anything with our kids but that we need to stay connected with our spouses. It is a definite fact that we need to give our children happy memories but how much more happy will those memories be if we still love each other. So….
One, two, three, four, you really need to learn to shut the door.
Five, six, seven, eight the kids really need to learn to wait.
Nine and ten, this is so much fun you’ll want to do it again.

Enjoy each other no matter what stage you life is in, it’s better for you and great for the kids.

Dallas Munkholm, B.A., B.Com., R.P.C., C.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

Improve Your Relationship Through Self-Awareness

Our emotions allow us to experience the world in all its richness; without emotions the world would be a dull place. However sometimes our emotions are overwhelming and confusing. The first step toward controlling our emotions is self-awareness. Increasing self-awareness can also greatly increase our ability to understand our partner. It is difficult to be aware of and empathetic toward the feelings of others, if we are not aware of and understand our own emotions.

Our intimate relationships give us the best opportunity to improve our level of emotional awareness and control. Self-control is something that for most people comes much easier in public than it does in private. Home is the best laboratory for growing self-control.



The benefits of improving your emotional awareness and control include knowing and accepting your self. Rejecting or suppressing your feelings involves self-rejection. The huge amount of energy required to stuff feelings away and keep them stuffed away is exhausting. Emotional awareness and control also allows you to be closer to your partner. It will help you shrink the distance between you that may have been created either through hiding feelings or uncontrolled expressions of emotion or blow-ups.

Accepting your emotions when they arise, rather than denying, repressing them or stewing in them, allows you to release or let the emotion pass. The next time you are feeling a strong emotion, experiment with allowing yourself to fully accept or welcome that emotion, acknowledge and name the feeling you are having, take some deep breaths and ask yourself, “What is this feeling trying to tell me?” Once you get the message you can release the emotion.

Just as building physical strength requires persistence and practice, building emotional strength requires consistent practice. You would not expect to run a marathon without a great deal of training. The self-awareness that you develop by paying attention to and accepting and releasing your emotions will improve your relationships. It will allow you to more easily deal with problems in the moment, rather than letting resentments build until they explode, hurting everyone involved.

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

The Cost Of Being Right

Maybe you have met or are in a relationship with someone who seems to have the, My mind is made up. Don’t confuse me with the facts, kind of attitude. Or maybe when you look in the mirror you see someone with that type of attitude. This attitude is extremely destructive to relationships. Having to be right all the time may ultimately cost you the loss of your relationship. The least that it will cost you is a lack of intimacy in your relationship.

When you have to be right, you are constantly making your partner wrong. If you have to win all the time, your partner gets to lose all the time. This is not a fun place to live in a relationship. Your cannot really know and be close to your partner, if every time they express their opinion, you are correcting or criticizing them. If by your actions you are saying to your partner, If I want your opinion, I will give it to you, then you will never really know or understand your partner.


Your need to always be right, means that you are unable to be open to influence from your partner. It means that you cannot really listen to their opinions and feelings. You are too busy pushing your opinions and arguments. Trust and intimacy are eroded and will be completely destroyed unless changes are made.

This need to constantly prove that one is right, often stems from an insecure sense of self. If you find yourself feeling threatened or annoyed when people do not agree with you, ask your self, why is it so important to me to be right? What does being wrong or making a mistake mean to me? Does it mean that I am stupid or less than?

Mutual respect is vital for a lasting healthy relationship. If you find yourself constantly putting your partner down because you have to win or be right all the time, STOP. Ask yourself, How important is this? Is this worth making my partner lose? How will this affect my relationship? Can I choose to be happy rather than right? If you are not with someone you can respect then perhaps it is time to reevaluate your behavior and your relationship. If you are with someone who does not respect you, you may want to evaluate your opinion of yourself and learn to be more assertive.

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

Miracles In Marriage

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're
looking for, go live with a car battery. Erma Bombeck

Perhaps Erma Bombeck’s quote is a little blunt and humorous but
nonetheless true. Our marriages come with only one guarantee; if
you don’t work at it, it won’t work. What do I mean by work when
it comes to marriage? Let me get personal for a moment.

When I was19 I figured that I was mature enough and smart enough
and in love enough to get married, so I did. It soon was evident
to others, not so much to myself that only one of those three
was true. In fact, if the first two were true I would not have
gotten married at 19, I probably would still be single now 34
years later.

In the first week we were having major disagreements (a nice way
of saying major fights) brought on by immaturity, mostly mine
and a lack of smarts, again, mostly mine. You see when I said,
I do, I thought that I had the world by the tail and it was a
downhill pull from there. The sad part is I made my wife, my
sweetheart pay for my lack of both maturity and intelligence.
Everything was her fault, I could not believe that this
beautiful, intelligent young lady could turn out to be so, dare
I say, dumb.

It took about six months and someone mentioning that dreaded
d-word to open my eyes. I was at fault just as much if not more
than her. I needed to learn about the work in marriage because
ours wasn’t, working that is. What were we, what was I doing
wrong? I started to look around at people whom I admired and
whose marriages seemed to work. What could I learn? Why did they
seem happy and me not?

The very first thing I noticed from my mentoring couples (they
did not know I was watching) was that there was a niceness to
their interchanges. They actually said please and thank-you. My
grandparents in particular always voiced their love for each
other. Picture this; a 6 foot 2 inch man in the kitchen with a
greasy spatula mark on his rump where she, 5 foot nothing, had
whacked him with a giggled “Dougie” as he poked her ribs and
tickled her. I remember watching this when I was staying with
them when I was 17 and thought, How corny, but realized later
it was an exchange of love.

Another couple, who shall remain unnamed here but thanked in my
heart, demonstrated how to treat each other with respect. In
their relationship when one was speaking the other was listening
and didn’t interrupt. They valued each other’s opinion, asked
each other for advice and disagreed agreeably.

There was an older couple when I was growing up and attending
church that would always sit side by side. If there wasn’t room
in the row where one of them was sitting they would get up and
move so that they could sit by each other. I remember watching
them walking into the building always holding hands, he held the
doors for her, would take off her coat and hang it for her. When
they both were much older and it was hard for them to get around
and such I remember on a Sunday her bringing a chair into the
cloakroom for him to sit on to put on his rubbers. After he had
his on she sat down and he helped put hers on. This sweet old
couple gently taught me how to treat my wife.

Another gentleman of my youth told me face to face that it takes
a real man to treat a woman with kindness, gentleness and love.
He said it speaks volumes about the respect and love that he has
for her when he treats her as if she were the most precious
thing in the world. Kindness and gentleness, he said, a
hallmarks of greatness and strength. His treatment of his
wonderful wife proved him to be a great and strong man, one whom
I miss today.

Much later in my life, my wife and I had been married for about
18 years; I became good friends and a student to a gentle giant
that has become my hero in most aspects of my life. Brother Dan
taught me that love was not an event or an attitude; it was an
action, a set of behaviors demonstrating the depth of one’s
feelings for another. His kindness and love given to his wife
told her and me that she was his love, and her happiness and
well-being was more important than his own most of the time.

What do I mean by work in a marriage? You can see by the
preceding it is not hard work; it just needs to be consistent.
The work part usually involves remembering that this is the one
you have chosen to be with, you committed to. To always recall
what it is he or she likes or dislikes. To share with them, both
the good and the bad. It seems a little funny but it is the bad
times gotten through together that build the most strength and
the best memories. As Scott Peck has said:

In thinking about miracles our frame of reference
has been too dramatic. We have been looking for
the burning bush, the parting of the sea, the
bellowing voice from heaven. Instead we should be
looking at the ordinary day-to-day events in our
lives for the evidence of the miraculous.

If we want the miracles in our marriage take care of the
day-to-day stuff and leave the rest to somebody else.

Dallas Munkholm, B.A., B.Com., R.P.C., C.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

One Plus One Does Equal Two

Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each one also be alone.
Even as the strings of a lute are alone,
though they quiver to the same music.
Gibran

The most important thing about couples is that they are made up of individuals. There needs to be separateness to the relationship as well as the desired and sought after togetherness. This seems to be paradoxical; we cannot be two things at once. That fact is not only true, but absolutely essential. We cannot be two separate and together at the same time.

This, it would seem, indicates that couples are together, one unit, however, that is not true. What the reality is we are two separate, complete and whole individuals who have chosen to be together. There is a difference. That difference is the all-important ability to chose for one self.

Healthy relationships are made by a conscious decision, with lots of forethought. In a truly loving and wholesome relationship there is an element of rational, cool-headed and warm-hearted choice. That is how we make good and proper choices; we really think about the pros and cons, we look at all the possible consequences, and we make a choice among the possibilities. Next, we listen to our hearts; does this choice feel right, are we happy with the logical decision we’ve made and if so stick to that choice, cool head warm heart.

Why is this so important, this being one and choosing to be together? The answer lies in the definition of love. Scott Peck defines love in his marvelous book the Road Less Traveled as, “the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.” By this definition we are truly individuals in a relationship of two.

To seek out spiritual growth, either for ourselves or for another is a quest of a “whole” person. One who is healthy and complete on his or her own. This is where the choice comes in. I am complete by myself, I need no one else to be happy or complete or whole thus, I choose to be with another because I want to not because I need to.

In our marriage preparation class we teach that it takes two whole and complete, healthy individual to make one whole, complete and great marriage. Peck states, “love is an act of will – namely, both an intention and an action. Will implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.”

There are some individuals who seem to have no choice in the matter. You’ve heard them. “I’m not myself without you. You complete me. I can’t live without you.” Romantic, yes but unhealthy. If this is literally true, if you do not feel complete without the other, then this relationship is destined for trouble. Your partner can never make you feel whole or complete. You become an emotional vampire sucking the life force right out of your “loved” one. “We do not have to love. We choose to love.” Big, big difference, huge difference, being healthy versus being unhealthy. Happiness versus despair and anguish.

When there are two individuals in one happy relationship then as the poet Gibran has said “they quiver to the same music.” Not only do they quiver to the same music, together they make music.

Dallas Munkholm, B.A., B.Com., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

Overcoming Fear In Relationships

Two major fears frequently show up in relationships: the fear of abandonment or loss of partner and the fear of engulfment or loss of self. Ironically, we tend to choose a partner with the opposite fear. Often people with abandonment issues will choose partners who have engulfment issues. And so the dance begins, with one pursuing and the other withdrawing.

When our buttons are pushed and our fears bubble to the top, we tend to try to protect ourselves by attempting to control our partner’s behavior. We think that if our partner would just be sensitive to our needs and either give us the space or the closeness that we need then we would be happy. In reality, our partner cannot ever completely satisfy our needs, especially if their needs are in conflict with our own.

The trick is to acknowledge and allow our selves to feel the fear. When we can accept and even welcome our feelings, we can begin to look behind the fear to learn more about ourselves. Chances are these fears are related to experiences from our early life. We have developed a pattern of relating to others that we hope will protect us from experiencing the repetition of past hurts. The truth is that we will continue to re-experience past hurts, until we heal what is inside of us.

We cannot possibly arrange the outside world to constantly meet our needs. We must learn to meet those needs for our self. As we do we can begin to give our self the gift of peace. We can learn to hang on to our self and be comfortable with closeness without feeling like we will lose our self. Or we can learn to hang on to our self and be comfortable with absence without feeling abandoned.

It is important to take complete responsibility for meeting our own needs and learn to completely love and accept our selves. The more love and acceptance we have for our selves the less fearful we will be.

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

If your life is lacking a little in the romance department, maybe it is time to find your inner goddess.
It is important to see the divine in yourself, to understand your worth. When you approach your life from that centered place of knowing how wonderful and beautiful you truly are, rather than worrying about what other people say or think about you, you will see improvements not just in the romance department, but in all areas of your life.

Here are three simple challenges to help you find your inner goddess. They are simple, but not necessarily easy:

1. Stop putting yourself down!
Pay careful attention to your self-talk and learn to talk yourself up rather than down. If you make a mistake you are not stupid, you have learned one way not to do something. Talk to yourself like a kind and helpful coach, rather than a harsh critic.

2. Take the mirror challenge.
For two minutes a day for the next 30 days, stand naked in front of a full length mirror and simply accept and appreciate yourself. You are not allowed to pick out what you don’t like. Focus on loving and accepting yourself. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself giggling or even shedding a tear or two. If you persist you will find that you become more comfortable with yourself.

3. Give yourself a make over.
Get rid of anything in your closet that does not make you look good. Treat yourself with at least one outfit that makes you look fabulous. Get a bra that fits and flatters you. Get your nails or hair done. Most of all stand tall and smile. That creates the best make over of all.

Finding your inner goddess allows you to embrace the sexy, beautiful women that you are. When you feel sexy and beautiful, you will be sexy and beautiful. Remember, you are worth it.

"Unfortunately I am still in love with my ex but my ex is not in love with me or may be my ex is. what a mess.What should I do now?".If you ever found yourself thinking like this or if that even sounds a little like you, then you should know today, you are not the only one.You will not believe a good number of people still have touching feelings about their past love.If you watch MTV you must have seen the show X-factor.It is a good example of this fact.It is also a fact that if you are feeling like this probably your ex too is feeling the same no matter what he/she says.That how ever is true in cases where your ex really did love you ones.


But how can you find out if your ex still love you, should you call them and let them know? Or, should you keep your distance and play it cool and hope they'll realize that they still love you?

Instead of risking humiliation by pouring your guts out to your ex - right before they introduce you to their new love, take things slow and get a lay of the land. This can be done in several ways, you can ask your friends to discreetly ask around about your ex. They can find out if they're seeing anyone or if they've been going to the same places that the two of you used to go (if so, this could be a sign that they're hoping to 'bump' into you. Especially if it's a place they never went before the two of you got together). Just encourage your friends to use discretion. If your friends are the type of people who don't have a real strong grasp on discretion, this may not be the best approach for you to try.

Another way to find out if your ex has any feelings for you still, is to ask them. Again, discreetly. As we discussed above, you don't want to take the chance of being humiliated so instead of coming right out and asking use subtlety to find out. Call them up, say 'hi' ask what they've been up to. It's all very casual and you're not committing to anything, you're just trying to be friendly. It can be hard to take it slow when all you can think is 'I'm still in love with my ex and my ex might love me too' but you have to.

Don't start asking them about the people they are seeing. This will either come across as being an interrogation, or they'll guess your real intentions. Instead just forget that the two of you ever had a past and just be the fun loving, easy going person they fell in love with the first time the two of you got together.

Keep the reminiscing to a minimum unless they bring it up. If they do make a lot of references to the past it's very likely that you've got your answer. If they really didn't still care for you it's not very plausible that they'd keep talking about the past, as a matter of fact, it's not real likely that they would have met you for coffee in the first place.

If they bring it up, or you think that they are receptive, talk about the two of you. Again, if it seems like the right time to do it, tell them that you still care for them. This doesn't necessarily have to be a confession of your undying love, it's not unusual to still care for an ex, so if they react badly you're not on the hook. If they say that they still care for you or that they miss you, it might just be the beginning of the second chance for the two of you!

Using a little detective spirit in you to investigate your ex you might just find out that you will be thinking or rather be saying: I am still in love with my ex and my ex is still in love with me too!.

Good luck from


You can pick up more of such sleuthing tips From: Jason Hicks the Underground Breakup Expert

In my last post about ending a relationship we talked about doing some real soul searching before taking any action and how to take such an action the right way.Today I discided to talk about how to stop your divorce.Iwanted to deal with this specificaly because it is not just a dating relationship there are many factors that makes this worth writing about which you will learn very soon.How ever it is worth reading the last post because you will pick up points that I have not mension in this post now lets get started.


It's easy to get scared of the prospect of being alone, especially when you've been with someone for a long time. Just make sure that that is not the reason you want to stay married. It's not a good reason.

If you find that you really do want to save your marriage for the right reasons than you have got options. Here are some things you can do, or not do, to help save your marriage:

1. First things first, assuming that your partner isn't just a jackass, but has been a loving partner to you and has just gotten to the point where they don't see a future between the two of you, take some time to evaluate how you and your marriage have changed since the two of you have been together.

It's sad but true that we often drift apart from each but it happens so slowly we don't even realize it. Try to compare where the two of you are now in your relationship as opposed to where you used to be. Now don't be unrealistic. People change and so do relationships, you can't expect to feel exactly the same way together as you did when you were twenty. That's unrealistic. But that doesn't mean that as the two of you have changed and grown that your marriage can't change and grow and stay strong too. Has it? Or have the two of you gone your separate ways without even realizing it?

2. After you've given that some thought and hopefully come up with some ideas, talk to your spouse. I mean really talk, talk like you probably haven't talked to each other in years. Openly, honestly without anger and resentment. Don't accuse, just suggest. Tell them what you think and ask them what they think. Even though you are both coming at it from different angles, you might just find that you are both on the same page. Talking will help you find out.

3. One of the best things the two of you can do is to find a counselor who can guide you down this path. The two of you have probably had years of poor communication skills and bad habits, it's going to be hard to break those bad habits alone. A counselor can help. A counselor can also act as referee if things start to get a little too heated. If you really want to save your marriage this is usually the best way to go about it.

What you will learn by trying to stop your divorce might just make your marriage even better than it has ever been.You will learn along the way that Communication is the vital key to any relationship.That is talking and listerning to one another.Also finding somebody you both can trust to help direct you through the difficult paths.By just doing that you might have a second chance of making things work out in your favour.

By trying to stop your divorce you just might make your marriage better than it's been in a long time, or maybe better than it's ever been. Just talk to one another, and more importantly, listen to one another. Find someone who can help you navigate this difficult path, and you'll have a very good chance of making things work out just the way you want.Just remember pleading, beging and promises to make changes will not work.

Good Luck

It is always an emotional and difficult move ending a relationship with someone you love.Yes what really makes it that more difficult is when you start second guessing your self and thinking whether you are really making the move.Now it even gets worst when that love guilt sets in.You know that guilt feeling of causing heart break to the person you ones loved or may be you still love by ending or leaving the relationship. Though it is never so easy to breakup, with some forethought you can ease some of that pain and start figuring out where you are going to have the breakup-talk,when,what you are going to say and so on.


Do yourself a favor and think long and hard about it before you actually do it. It's very hard, sometimes impossible, to get back with someone after a breakup so you want to make sure that you're sure this is the best thing to do...before you do it. Don't go off in a huff because the two of you just had a fight. You don't want to have to swallow your pride and eat your words if you've jumped the gun and then had a change of heart.

Of course, if you're being abused, don't allow yourself to be talked out of it. This is the one time that you have got to stand your ground. Other than that, though, take your time while making your decision, no matter what you may think, the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. Make sure you're really ready for all that will happen after the breakup. Don't expect that you'll go out and start dating everyone within a 50 mile radius. It's easy to be a little bored in a relationship and convince yourself that you can do better, but can you? Really? You better be sure.

If after all this soul searching you're still convinced that a breakup is the best way to go, than plan out the best way to go about it. Even though you want out of the relationship that's no reason to be mean and callous to your soon- to- be ex. Try to figure out the kindest and gentlest way to end the relationship. Oh, and don't be a schmuck and breakup with someone right before a major holiday or their birthday. You've waited this long you can wait a few days more. No need to tarnish their big day with memories of a painful breakup.

When it comes time to talk to them, pick a quiet place and take your time. Don't lie to them, be as honest as possible (though if you're already seeing someone else you may want to spare them that detail) but don't back down. You've given this a lot of thought and you're sure this is the right thing to do, so do it. They may cry, threaten and plead but you have to stand firm otherwise you' ll just be repeating the whole scene in a few days or weeks, and who wants to go through that?

Once you've done it and the two of you are through, don't give into temptation and call them, and don't take their calls if they call you either. You both have to move on and since you're the one who ended the relationship it's up to you to be the 'strong' one and cut off all contact. You may be tempted to talk to them, especially if the whole dating everyone within 50 miles thing hasn't worked out quite the way you planned, but don't. Make a clean break.

Though you can not take away the pain and make things a little better when ending a relationship with someone you love,you can how ever handle the whole thing in a responsible and compassionate way so it might be a little easy for your ex.

If you’re stuck in a miserable relationship feeling lost and confused about what you should do—wishing someone, anyone, could help you out of your misery… Susan's Free 7 days Mini-ecaurse can be your life-line

Which relationships in your life nourish you? Which of your relationships are more like junk food to your soul?

Junk food relationships are those that are just for fun. The relationship remains a surface-type relationship; you talk about lots of things, except what really matters to you. Junk food relationships never require that you deal with any real problems or that you share difficult feelings. These relationships, although they may be a lot of fun, can sometimes feel kind of empty.

Nourishing relationships are the ones where you know and are known by another person. Joy and delight are shared and celebrated. Faults and problems are not hidden. You chose to love, in spite of knowing that you each have imperfections. Building intimacy nourishes your soul. It may be challenging and uncomfortable at times, but these are the kind of relationships that can last a lifetime and more.

Difficult relationships are not necessarily junk food relationships. Difficult relationships can provide us with wonderful gifts: the opportunity to grow, the opportunity to learn about our self and another, the opportunity to forgive and to heal and the challenge to discipline our self to be our best even when someone else chooses not to be their best.

The trick, just as with food, is to find a balance between junk food relationships and nourishing relationships. However, unlike food, junk food relationships can be converted into nourishing relationships with an investment of time and effort.

Deepening your relationship means taking a risk. Sharing feelings, asking for help, offering service helps to deepen a relationship. Paying attention to the interests, wants and needs of the other person and really getting to know him/her deepens a relationship. Being honest without being brutal can deepen a relationship. Nourishing relationships may involve more risk (what if s/he doesn’t like me as I am); but they are far more fulfilling.

Staying safely distant may protect you from rejection or disapproval, but it also does not allow you to get to know those people who would embrace you and accept you as you are.

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

I was just wondering before writing this article,whether affair relationship do really last? If you are thinking to leave your spouse to give a go on a relationship that started as an affair, I will kindly advice you to think again about the consequences that surrounds such a move.
It's very tough to keep a relationship going if it has started off by both of you lying and cheating. For one thing you're both going to have a real problem trusting each other. I mean, you both know that you've both cheated, how can you ever really be sure that you won't each cheat on each other? Even if the two of you can overcome that, there are still all the other issues to consider.

For one thing, are there kids involved? This is by far the hardest situation to work through. No one wants to hurt their kids and it will be virtually impossible for the kids to ever feel warm fuzziest for the person who broke their other parent's heart (at least that's the way the kids will see it. More than likely they'll let their cheating parent largely off the hook and blame the other man/woman).

Even if there aren't kids involved, you have to remember that this relationship is just like any other: it starts off hot and passionate, but can you keep that alive? Your marriage probably started off that way too and look where that is.

One of the biggest reasons the two of you felt so free in the first place was because you didn't share any responsibilities. The day to day grind is almost always what slowly works it's way between couples and causes the problems. You have to be realistic enough to recognize that the very same thing will happen between the two of you over time. Your brand new 'soul-mate' may not seem so brand new in five or ten years... just like your spouse.

Of course, having considered all of these facts there still remains one question you have to ask yourself, do you still love your spouse? If you can honestly say that you just don't feel love for your spouse (and I'm not talking about the fireworks, tingling toes feeling that always fades and changes in any relationship) than despite the pain it will cause you might be doing them a favor in the long run by leaving.

If it comes to that, it's best for everyone involved if you don't let them know that the catalyst for the breakup is your affair. That is one secret you should keep to yourself. Just let your spouse know that the marriage is over and be as compassionate as possible.

Actually I think affair relationships usually never works.How ever if such a relationship had a seed germinating before you got married to your spouse then you can give it a try if that same fire burns within you.For example if you are having an affair with your former ex or high school sweet heart.But still you have to take in to consideration how the relationship ended.If it ended with a problem between both of you then it still not worth it to leave your spouse because that same problem might still replay especially if none of you have changed.But if the break up was for a reason none of you could help solving for example distance or lost of contact then it might work and I say might because you are cheating on your spouse and there will always be that point of trust.
What do you think? Drop your opinion in the comment box below

Really you should know by now that not marriages can be saved from divorce or break up.It is obvioce that not all two people are compatible.sometimes two partners can not make trhiks work.However there are also the infidelity problem which the other patner can not just move past it.


If you or your spouse has been unfaithful but you both feel that there is still something in the relationship worth saving, it's time for a gut check. Don't think that the road to save your marriage will be smooth or short. You had better prepare for a rough ride, and it's going to have a much better chance of working if you enlist the help of a professional counselor to help clear the path, as much as possible.

Here's a few things to keep in mind:

1. If the person who committed the adultery is a serial cheater, why stay at all? Come on,who are you kidding? No matter how much you may love them, they are flawed. They aren't ever going to change they are just going to make your life miserable at best, and at worst they'll bring some nasty disease home and clear out your bank account. Leave.

If this was a one time lapse in judgment, and let's be honest, in the right circumstances any of us could have one, than you might have a chance but only if the offending party is truly sorry and will, or already has, stopped seeing the other person. If they won't commit 100% to making things work, it won't work. Again, it's best to leave.

2. As hard as it may be to face, it might help if the two of you could talk openly about what they found so irresistible in the other person. It's going to hurt, but the reality is that people don't cheat for sex, though that is part of it, they cheat because they get something from the other person that they don't get from their spouse.

Sometimes it can be something 'real' like feeling needed or loved. Other times it's not 'real' it's childish, like feeling like they are the only one that matters in the relationship. Finding out what the attraction was might help the two of you recapture something that has been lost in your relationship, something that you may not even have realized was gone.

3. It's very important to the long term health of your relationship that the person who was cheated on can find a way to not throw it up in their partner's face every time there is a fight. And that will be hard. But unless you can truly forgive and forget, it won't work out.

On the other side of the coin, the person who strayed must understand that it can take a lifetime for their partner to really ever trust them again. Sorry, that's just the way it is.

However as a matter fact the person who went astray most own up to it,period.You know using the classic line that most people use for example "my wife/husband just doesn't understand me" will not help here.Why? Because you are asguilty as,may be more guilty in the failing of your marriage as your spouse.Do not kill your self because you did it,No..No.. instead admite what you did period and you will become a better person for it

If the two of you try hard enough you will easily get over it in no time.Think about these questions and they might help you to work on you marriage before you break up.
What are the reasons you might want to stay together:

* For the kids?

* It would be too expensive?

* You're afraid to be alone?

* For the security?

* It's against your religion?

* You're concerned about what everyone might think?

What if I told you it doesn't matter why you want to stay together, it only matters that you do.

That's all it takes to make the program Affair Repair work for you, that is not only to save your marriage, but actually make it better than it was before.

If you're reading this article, I guess you've just got out of a relationship. It doesn't matter if it was a mutual decision, your decision or if the decision was made for you, it's still a very difficult thing to go through. Most of us would like to end the suffering and pain (and maybe guilt) as soon as possible but many people turn to the wrong things and the wrong people to help them get over a breakup. Avoid making the mistakes that will only add to your pain in the long run, use these after relationships help tips so you can move on quickly and with your dignity.


When it comes to handling a breakup there are two distinct lists you need to follow: a list of what to do and a list of what not to do. If you follow both lists you can move on a lot easier. Here are the dos and don'ts:

DO:

Enjoy yourself. Have fun (as much as possible at least). Even though it may seem impossible if you surround yourself with a good group of friends you can actually have a little fun during this time, you just have to let yourself. Allow yourself to be distracted and don't hang on to your pain, try to learn to let it go or at least learn to put it (and leave it) in the back of your mind. Spending time with your pals doing fun things can help you accomplish that goal.

Go for that makeover you've been thinking about. Now is a great time to focus on you in a positive way. It may be time to get n shape, move, learn a new skill, take up a new hobby, get some new clothes, or just get a new hairstyle. It doesn't have to be big it just needs to be something that will make you feel more positive about yourself and the future and give you a reason to smile.

Only allow yourself to think about your relationship from the standpoint of what you can learn from your mistakes. This is not the time to wallow and obsess over every conversation and all the endless what ifs. This is the time to analyze what went wrong and what you can do in your next relationship to make sure you don't repeat the same mistakes. This may mean that you redefine the type of person you become involved with in the first place.


DON'T:

Don't try to talk your ex into getting back with you. Even if there is a chance that the two of you can reconcile some day, you need to give things time so you can be sure you are getting back together for the right reasons and not just because you're afraid of being lonely. Give it time.

Don't rewind every conversation and every comment to death. As I said above, any time you think of your relationship it should be from the standpoint of what can I do better next time and not what should I have done differently this time.

Don't hook up with everyone you find. That is not fair to you or the new person in your life. They don't deserve to feel like they are second string just because you are hurting. Just keep your social interactions restricted to family and friends and put the romance on hold for a while.

In all aspects of life we can be challenged to find the right path and to do the right things. This is very true when it comes to finding constructive things to do to help you move on after relationships end. By following the simple common sense advice above you will greatly improve your chances of moving on more quickly, with less pain, and with less baggage. Don't make things harder than they already are, use your head while your heart is mending.

What you should realize by now is that you can not make some one to love you.However you can learn some tips that can help you know how to make her fall in love with you again.There are definitely things you can do to remind her of the man she used to love( and maybe still does but just needs to remember).Many relationships can fall into fixed, usually boring, routine, the longer the two of you have been together, the greater the risk for that.


The good news is that you can overcome that issue. One thing you should do is talk to your girl. Ask her if there is a problem. Many times people will ask their partner what the problem is but if their partner tells them something they don't want to hear they get mad. If that has happened with you and your girl before, don't be surprised if she just isn't in the mood for a fight so she'll just say there is nothing wrong. If that's the case, you are going to have to take time to rebuild her trust in you. You will need to show her that you can listen without getting mad.

If she simply doesn't know what the problem is, and if she's just getting bored she may not even realize it herself, than what you need to do is go back in time. OK, not literally. But more than likely if you take the time to think about it, you've changed. Many times we change over a period of time and the changes can be so subtle that we may not even realize we're doing it. Try to pinpoint the less than positive changes you've made.

A lot of times it can be something as simple as just not having the dreams we once used to have. Depending on what your dreams were that may be ok. If you always dreamed of being a rock star, it might be best to get over that and find another passion. If your dream was to go to college that is much more attainable and maybe you shouldn't give up on that dream. Those dreams could very well be a part of what attracted your girl to you in the first place.

Another thing that you need to look at is how has your attitude toward your girl changed since the two of you have been together? For example, did you use to compliment your girl on the way she looked, or you made her a special meal once a week, etc.? Do you still do these things? This type of behavior, unfortunately, seems to be one of the first things to go in a long term relationship (and then people wonder why the romance has died).

Actually making her fall in love with you again can be a lot easier than you actually think.In most cases all you need to do is try being the man she fell in love with before now.That is remember who you were before now,who you were when she first knew you better still when she fell in love with you.Were you that guy who used to make her women laugh?By the way this is the most effective way to make any woman fall in love with you again.Why? Psychological studies have shown that during an initial or reoccurring contact, it's psychologically impossible to dislike someone who has made you laugh genuinely for 5 times or more.Therefore making her laugh is one of the easiest way to make her fall in love with you again.

Tired of dating? Want to move your relationship to the next level? Want to win over man you love dating? Well, if you go about it in the right way, you'll greatly increase the chances of making it work out just the way you hoped it would. Of course, your idea of what exactly the 'next level' is and his may be two different things. Your idea of the next level may be marriage, to him it may just mean living together, or vice a versa. Make sure that when you talk about the next level that you clearly define what exactly that means to you.

Here are some easy steps you can follow that may help 'push' things along:


1. Talk to him. Tell him what you want. Be careful how you approach this because you don't want to sound whiny or needy (if this is something you really want and you really feel strongly about it's easy to sound a little desperate if you're not careful). Again, don't just tell him you want to take things to the next level, be clear on what that means to you.

2. It's important that you don't push the issue. It's great to bring it up after all, you can't expect him to read your mind can you? You just have to make sure that you're going to be able to accept whatever he wants without getting upset. If the two of you have been together for a while and this topic has never come up it's almost a sure bet that he isn't interested in taking things to the next level, if he were he would have already brought it up (of course, it's possible that he's just shy or afraid to bring it up because he didn't know what you'd say and he got scared).

3. If he isn't interested in making any changes then have a mature, calm, conversation with him and ask him to explain what he means. Does he mean that he can see the two of you moving forward some time in the future, but he's just not ready right now? Or does he mean he doesn't see your relationship going much further than it is right now? These may be tough questions to ask, and tough answers to hear, but it's important that you find out where he's at when it comes to your relationship.

4. If the two of you have the same basic idea of where the relationship will go, you're just not on the same page when it comes to a time line, then that's actually Ok. At least you both see the relationship heading in the same direction. If your guy doesn't see any future in the relationship you're going to have to face a really tough decision: stay or go. Many women will stay and think that they can change his mind, and maybe you can, but you shouldn't. Even if you can talk him (or threaten him) into moving the relationship along, is that really the best foundation for a future? You had to force someone to be with you? No so much, it'll be hard but you are better off just moving on.

Many people find themselves in a great relationship and they want to take things to the next level, whatever that may mean to them. If you want to stop dating and move up to the next level you can follow this advice to win over man you love dating and move things along a bit faster.

No one wants to see their loving marriage dissolve into indifference. It can be a painful thing to watch, it can also leave you feeling utterly helpless and unable to stop it. If you just don't feel the love anymore and you want the answer to the question: how to get my wife to love me again, than there are a few things you can try. There is no guarantee it will work, sometimes by the time you ask the question it's already too late, but you've got nothing to lose by giving it a try.


Marriage can be a weird relationship. The longer the two of you are together the more comfortable you can feel with each other but at the same time there is more of a chance that the two of you will grow in different directions. This is a very common problem and since it happens slowly, over a period of years, it can be very easy to miss the signs until it's too late.

That is the first thing you should do, try to identify how you've changed since you and your wife have been together. Have the changes you've had been positive or negative?For most of us, we can say that a lot of the changes are negative. We used to have big plans, dreams and ambitions, but now we come home from work and veg out in front of the t.v. until it's time for bed. Boring. If you used to be full of hope and promise and now you seem like you've given up, you may simply not be the same man your wife originally fell in love with.

The sad thing is that not only may your wife not feel the same way about you now, you may not feel the same way about yourself. If you've just given up on your dreams you are probably unhappy with yourself deep inside. Try to rekindle some of those passions, it will make you happier and remind your wife of the man she fell in love with all those years ago. It's a win/ win.

Have you let yourself go? If you used to be fit and strong but now you're more pudgy than toned, maybe you should hit the gym. It will be good for you and it might help rev up her enthusiasm a little bit too.

Do you treat your wife the way you used to? Probably not. We can all fall into the trap of taking our partner for granted, the longer you are together the easier it is to do. She may well do the same thing to you. Try to get back to some of the patterns of behavior you used to have in the early days of the relationship. If you used to get her flowers every now and then 'just because' it may be time to start that tradition again.

Don't make things harder than they have to be. The answer to the question how to get my wife to love me again, might be as simple as going back in time and acting more like the man you used to be rather than the man you've become. It might just be good for both of you.

I strongly urge you to read each and EVERY word on How to get my wife to love me again the next page or you might lose your wife forever to someone else-

When you start thinking of how to get ex girlfriend back with no stress,you should first understand it all depends on the circumstances that led to the break up.You should start asking your self questions like "did I leave my ex or is she the one who left me?" What was the reason of the break up in the first place?How did the romance come to this point? Above all you have to start thinking on what you want to do about it at this point in time.


 If it was she who left you,how to get ex girlfriend back with no stress is to find out what it was that she didn't like about you that caused her to break up with you. Was it because you treated her poorly? Maybe it was because you didn't deserve her or thought you didn't,so you need to make some new choices. The choices wont be simple. This is a great time to put yourself under the magnifying glass and think about the way you appear to others.

What did she complain about before she left you? Review those complaints and maybe ask others if they agree. How will you ever get ex girlfriend back with no stress if you don't want to take the extra step to get her back.

Or did you leave her? Maybe you made the mistake of letting her go and you want to get her back,you just need to realize how bad you hurt her. You need to find out if she hates you because of what you did. Maybe she needs a little time away. Let her have some time alone. You shouldn't be too far away but you shouldn't stalk her either.

You need to prove to her that you made a mistake in dumping her and you won't do it again. The best way to accomplish this is to give her the space and gain her trust back slowly. You made a mistake,and as with every mistake you now have to deal with the consequence. If she's worth it to you,you'll do it.

If the relationship didn't hit it off because it dissolved,let her know you want to get back with her. She needs to know she's special and you are willing to work hard to get back with her. If she believes you and you'll work hard she may get back with you without any further convincing and she'll be back in your arms.

Communication is usually the key to the question "how to get ex girlfriend back with no stress?"Good communication will require you to look at both your mistakes and hers, not just her mistakes and try to do some thing about these mistakes.For example stopping the childish games of telling lies or cheat at this point.
The only way to take actions to make thinks right again is to try and change yourself since you can not change her.

Most often relationships end due to one problem or another.it may have ended with a fight that resulted in emotional pain or hurt feelings.It may have ended with one of you feeling very humiliated,either way there was a feeling of hurt and disappointment of some kind.That being the case in trying to win your love back you will have to show some tenderness in other to get love back.

You may have to look at yourself and the other party if you wish to get lover back. If you are not careful and do not handle things correctly, you may make the situation worse. It may be things that you do not even realize. Maybe the one you love is struggling and may be a little fragile.

Some things may not be a big deal for you, however for them they could be. Take a good look at yourself before you make an attempt at reconciliation.

You may have to seek relationship advice to find areas that you could improve on. You have to be willing to accept criticism and realize that they may be right. You will have to ask a complete stranger, "What can I work on so that I can get lover back?" Be ready for what they have to say. Will you be bothered when you hear what they say? It is possible but it will be good for you and may help you get lover back. Learn to be sensitive and take the advice you receive seriously.

Whatever your ex may be feeling, those feelings will be very real to them. You need to understand that their feelings can be deeply troubling and you should go to them with the intention of understanding. Do not react, when they get upset. Becoming emotional and fighting back will not help you get lover back. It will only drive a wedge between the two of you. You will have to help them heal and learn to nurture them. They will also need time and space and you will have to give that to them. A tender touch does not have to be physical. Just showing that you are there for them and showing you care can be more powerful.

There are definitely those times when knocking in some sense into your love is very necessary but this is definitely not that time.In such a time tenderness and compassion are the winning tickets.Actually in any relationship when love is concern one turns to do things that are not natural to them.So at this time some adjustments is needed on your part.Yes it may not be so natural for you to be tender but showing some tenderness will help you get your love back.

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Win love back for good is now a very popular trend for those who have lost their love ones.Probably it was not the right time for your love to end.May be you will want to try again.Now if you are wondering how to win back your love then wonder no more.But before we get in to the core I will like you to understand that if you look at love as if it is war then you will start to understand how easy it is to lose the battle.May be during your relationship you were winning your battles and now the tide has turned on you.
At one point it appeared as if you would win the war and now it looks as if you will lose. If you are not ready to admit defeat or give up, then you need to fight. Many tears have likely fallen and if they were worth it then you need to find a way to win love back. It is a hard fight to win love back, however it can definitely be done. You should only continue to fight the battle if you are sure to win the war. Step back and look at the whole situation. Make sure the outcome will be best for you and the other party.

It may be best to cut your losses if it will not be a good situation. In any war a person has to better themselves if they wish to win. Look at the past and what has happened. What could you have done differently? Figure out what those things were. It is not likely that the one you love will go back to a situation that was lousy.

Change those things that are possible so that you will be who your love wants you to be. Be sure to ask for relationship advice you may be able to learn how to win love back. By asking for advice you will learn how to fight the war and win love back. You may also want to find out how to be a better friend and lover. Those are two important keys to having a better relationship.

Those two vital key points are the tools you will need to winning your battle of love.Because you will not want your efforts of winning back your love to go in vain,also because you want your relationship to grow stronger than ever,you can do your part by being a better person and making yourself worth the risk.Learn to fight for your love with out giving up quickly and you will win your love back for good.

The way to win ex back is like a very competitive and important game.A game of your life.The result of such a game can have an impact in your life for a very long time to come.So how to win ex back is something you have to try doing and believing you can do it by giving it your all with out holding back.


How to win your ex back is playing to win the game. Is getting your ex back especially important? Have you put much thought into it? How much time have you spent analyzing yourself and trying to make improvements in your short comings? In reality, unless you decide that it is a top priority, you may never know how to win back ex.

You are much more likely to see success if you treat it as if it is the most important thing in your life. When you seek advice about your relationship and need to know "how to win back ex" the advice you receive will not even matter unless you are positive that it is something you will be able to do. If you wish for your romance to return, then you must believe that you are able to do it. If you do not believe that you can win ex back, then why even bother playing the game? You must have confidence in your ability and believe that you deserve this happiness.If you strongly believe in yourself, you will find out how to win ex back.

If you feel your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend is worth the effort then it will be worth your effort to get them back. Would you like to know how to win ex back? You need to play the game! Do not sit around and think about it. You must do something! The greatest ideas in the world will be meaningless unless you put those ideas into practice. Knowing is half the battle and a half fought battle has never been won.

You really need to do something if you wish to get your ex back.Jumping in and fighting with every thing you got is the real way to win ex back.There is no room for messing around when using any strategy you decide on.Put in a hundred percent effort and take it seriously.Try and find out what you have to do and give it your all.Winning your ex back can be a challenge,but it is some thing within your reach.So you can definitely accomplish it.

How to save marriage from ending can be stressful and a catastrophic situation. It could be hard to accomplish, but it can be done. Several times in life,terrible things will happen and sometimes stress is too much to bear. This is why it is important you know how to save marriage. The ability to know how to save marriage can result in something or an issue that has complicated the marriage and put a wall between the two spouses. Usually it happens after a death of a loved one such as a child. It could happen after a fatal car accident. Or perhaps because of some natural disaster no one was aware of. Illness could result in a marriage crisis as well.
You need to know how to save marriage from ending. First you need to grasp the concept that people tend to react differently to certain events. Obviously women and men will deal with things differently. Some people may detach themselves from their feelings while others are more obvious about how they feel. Grasping this and accepting it will help you in the long run and improve your ability on how to save marriage. It's ignorant to expect your spouse to react exactly like you.

Another thing you need to know is grief can bring out the worst in some people,and may reveal certain traits you didn't know about before. You need to have patience and understand why negativity can take over their personalities. But first you need to see how those changes effect you. Don't dismiss the behavior and avoid harmful behaviors,as these can put more of a strain on the situation.

Marriage counseling is needed if these problems effect you or your spouse. Marriage counselors are there to help you and your spouse through these hard times. Even if its a Christian Marriage or other marriage,people and places exist out there to help you and your love overcome any obstacles.

These suggestions could be useful and help you get through this hard time:

* Devote yourself to each other and commit to getting through this together.
* Support each other and try to understand where the both of you are coming from. When either of you are weak at some point,be there to help support them and even the load.
* Assemble your team to help support you. Close friends and family can help you out. None of you have to do this alone. Seek others who have had similar problems.
* Find reasons to smile or laugh again. Watch a movie that the both of you will enjoy. Or you could watch a comedy show on Tv. Spend your time around positive people who you tend to have a good time with.Laughing is the cure to everything and it is uplifting.

No matter what the circumstance is, your marriage doesn't have to come to a screeching halt. Any difficulties overcome can make the bond between you stronger.

"You Can Save Your Marriage...
Starting Today...Even If You
Are The Only One Interested... With This 'Radical' Approach To Marital Rescue

Do you wonder how to get ex girlfriend back from an abusive situation? No matter what has to happen, it is important that she gets out of the situation. It can break your heart knowing that your ex girlfriend, whom you still love is with the entirely wrong person and in an abusive situation. No person deserves that.



You need help whether you are trying to get ex girlfriend back or just get her out of the bad situation. You have a decision to make. Which is more important? To save her from a horrible nightmare or to get ex girlfriend back. If it appears that you have her best interest at heart it will make a big difference. You will need to analyze what is motivating you so that you do not use this as an attempt to further your interest.

On the other hand, she may not want rescuing and you will have to accept that. Being a hero may go a long ways if you save her not only from an abusive situation but a life threatening one. It is a known fact that often a person who has been abused will go back to the abuser. If she knows that she can be safe with you she is less likely to return to the bad situation. First you need to let her know that she is safe with you. Hopefully you have proven that you can take care of her. If you did not do a very good job the first time, let her know that you are a changed person. She will need to know that she can depend on you and that you will be able to listen. Make her aware that she deserves much better. An abusive person likes to belittle the abused and make them feel as if they deserve the abuse. She may be suffering from low self esteem. You need to make her feel special.

You need to get ex girlfriend back because she deserves so much better. Your motivation for saving her should be apparent and will make it easier to get ex girlfriend back. You may compromise her safety if you make it blatantly apparent that you are trying to get ex girlfriend back. If the person abusing her gets suspicious that someone is trying to steal her away, the situation may turn even worse. An abuser can be a control freak and be very jealous.

When trying to get ex girlfriend back, you need to think of her safety. If you see your ex girlfriend in trouble, you should try to help. When someone is in need, it is easy to turn away. Your own life may get messy for a little while, however a lot of good can come of it. If your attempts are successful, you will get ex girlfriend back and save her life too.