Improve Your Relationship Through Self-Awareness
Our emotions allow us to experience the world in all its richness; without emotions the world would be a dull place. However sometimes our emotions are overwhelming and confusing. The first step toward controlling our emotions is self-awareness. Increasing self-awareness can also greatly increase our ability to understand our partner. It is difficult to be aware of and empathetic toward the feelings of others, if we are not aware of and understand our own emotions.
Our intimate relationships give us the best opportunity to improve our level of emotional awareness and control. Self-control is something that for most people comes much easier in public than it does in private. Home is the best laboratory for growing self-control.
The benefits of improving your emotional awareness and control include knowing and accepting your self. Rejecting or suppressing your feelings involves self-rejection. The huge amount of energy required to stuff feelings away and keep them stuffed away is exhausting. Emotional awareness and control also allows you to be closer to your partner. It will help you shrink the distance between you that may have been created either through hiding feelings or uncontrolled expressions of emotion or blow-ups.
Accepting your emotions when they arise, rather than denying, repressing them or stewing in them, allows you to release or let the emotion pass. The next time you are feeling a strong emotion, experiment with allowing yourself to fully accept or welcome that emotion, acknowledge and name the feeling you are having, take some deep breaths and ask yourself, “What is this feeling trying to tell me?” Once you get the message you can release the emotion.
Just as building physical strength requires persistence and practice, building emotional strength requires consistent practice. You would not expect to run a marathon without a great deal of training. The self-awareness that you develop by paying attention to and accepting and releasing your emotions will improve your relationships. It will allow you to more easily deal with problems in the moment, rather than letting resentments build until they explode, hurting everyone involved.
Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach
Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course
Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples
Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine
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