Merry Christmas

My heart to you is given:
Oh, do give yours to me;
We'll lock them up together,
And throw away the key.
Frederick Saunders

It’s getting close to that time of year where give our loved ones gifts and presents; so I decided to give you some gifts.



The first is a list of advice that has been given to couples:

• Be best friends.
• Court each other forever.
• Choose happiness over being right.
• Your partner comes first, before anybody or anything.
• Balance couple time and you time.
• Remember, foreplay never stops; it goes on day after day.
• Never assume.
• If you are doing things that cause you to think or say “I
can’t tell my spouse this,” you shouldn’t be doing it.
• Always compliment each other. "Tell your wife that she
looks pretty even if she looks like a truck." Ricky, age 10
• When you vent about your spouse, you need to say three
positive things as well.
• Always make time for the two of you.
• Fight fair, respectfully and focused.
• Sometimes marriage is a bed of roses and sometimes there
are thorns.
• Understand that most marriages go through rough patches and
the best time to seek help is at the start, when you still like
each other.
• Remember that people do fight. It's how you do it that
matters.
• Respect each other's privacy.
• Never Keep Secrets.
• Surprise each other now and then.
• Have date night! Dates are for having fun, and people
should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have
something to say if you listen long enough. Lynnette, age 8
• Hold hands. "They want to make sure their rings don't fall
off because they paid good money for them." Dave, Age 8
• Talk daily.
• Choose the one you love, then love the one you choose. "One
of you should know how to write a check. Because even if you
have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills."
Ava, Age 8
• Never compare, you always loose.
• Fight naked. ;)
• Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?
• The secret to a happy marriage is two TV's!
• Keep family, friends and in-laws at a distance in marriage.
• Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.
• It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys
need somebody to clean up after them. (Anita, Age 9)
• No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has
something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and
deodorant are so popular. (Jan, Age 9)
• Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You
might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as
love. (Alonzo, Age 9)
• Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you
never take out the trash. (Randy, Age 8)


And the second gift is permission to laugh and have fun with each other and with your relationship. As you can tell from the above list other people’s viewpoints are often humorous and insightful. So in your marriage look at things from each other’s perspective and see how that feels to you.

Marriage is a serious and sometimes trying undertaking and we often get so caught up in that part of it that we forget to enjoy it.

Remember, you got married because of how you felt, not only about each other but also how you feel when you are together. The greatest gift you can give each other is your total and unconditional love; that and patience and generosity. Take care of each other and have a Merry Christmas season.

Dallas Munkholm, B.A., B.Com., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

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