The Cost Of Anger

At times it may seem as though your anger is justified and those around you are just too sensitive. It may even feel good to release your anger and vent. It might seem that you get the respect you deserve when you let your anger out. The problem is raging is more likely to produce fear and resentment rather than respect. Anger tends to short circuit the thinking part of our brains and hinder reason and logic. Uncontrolled anger can ruin your relationship, hurt your chances of success and leave a negative impression of you on those you encounter.

Anger is a healthy emotion and can help us push through our fear to defend others or ourselves. Anger is not the problem; the problem come when the words and behaviors we use in anger are out of control.

Consider the cost of explosive anger:

1. It hurts your opinion of yourself. Uncontrolled anger can lead to feelings of guilt and shame. It can lead to feeling a loss of control. The less you feel in control of yourself the more your self-esteem suffers.
2. It damages your mental health. Constant or frequently recurring anger will sap your energy and drain the joy from your life. Anger turned inward can result in depression; anger turned outward can increase your tendency to be verbally or otherwise abusive to those around you and greatly increase the stress in your life. You may also find it difficult to concentrate or make good decision when your anger is twisting and consuming your thoughts.
3. It damages your relationships. Anger and hostility destroys intimacy in personal relationships. Whether it is your partner, your children or your friends, they will be more guarded and afraid to express their true feelings. It makes it difficult for others to trust and respect you.
4. It damages your career. Verbally attacking customers, co-workers or managers may cost you your job. It will affect your reputation in the workplace and reduce the respect that others have for you.
5. It damages your health. Living on high alert, ready to attack, puts a great deal of stress on your body. There may be a tendency to smoke, drink or eat more when you are chronically angry. You may find that you have difficulty sleeping or relaxing and your immune system may suffer. You may become more susceptible to health problems such as high cholesterol, heart disease, diabetes or cancer.
6. It destroys your peace of mind. Choosing to hold on to resentment and anger takes away your peace of mind. It definitely interferes with your ability to enjoy life; to feel happiness or joy.

The cost of letting your anger control you is a steep price to pay. If you hear from others, that your anger is causing harm, it may be time to work toward taking back control of your life. The best way to take control of your life is to learn to control youself. Learn the skills and attitudes that allow you to control your anger before it controls you.


Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.T.C., C.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach
Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course
Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples
Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

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