Reduce Stress To Improve Relationships

Reduce Stress To Improve Relationships

It is natural to feel stressed when we have to handle more than we are used to. When we experience a stress response, our body responds as though we are in danger. Our heart races and we breathe faster. We experience the urge to fight or flee.

A certain amount of stress is healthy and helps us feel alive. But if there is too much stress or it lasts too long it can take a toll on our health and on our relationships. Stress can narrow our focus down to ‘how do I make it through the next day, hour or minute’. Too much stress can make it difficult for partners to give each other much needed caring attention. It can make it difficult to be fully present with each other, since our minds are preoccupied with worries.

To reduce the negative effects of stress, it is helpful to first be aware of the source of your stress. Paying attention to when you are feeling stressed and noting what has been or is happening may help you find the source of your stress. At times we already know what is causing us stress and at other times it is not so clear. Next ask yourself: In what ways could I reduce the amount of stress in my life? What might I need to put on hold, delegate or let go?

It is also important to practice healthy ways of relieving stress or managing stress. Try some of the following:

• Make taking good care of yourself a priority. Get enough sleep, eat well, live a healthy lifestyle.
• Improve your time management. A schedule may help you get more done with less stress. Prioritize and do the most important things first.
• Be honest with yourself about how you currently cope with stress. Be willing to find healthier ways of coping. For example: consider exercise rather than eating; meditation rather than alcohol or drugs.
• Practice new ways of thinking. Choose to stop the worry mill. Work on changing what you can and accepting what you cannot.
• Be willing to say no and set healthy boundaries.
• Be willing to ask for what you need. Do not stuff or swallow your feelings. Stand up for yourself assertively.
• Delegate or ask for help. Strengthen your network of friends and family.

At times stress becomes more than you can handle on your own. It may help to talk to a friend or family member. Someitmes a counsellor may help you to see things more clearly.

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.T.C., C.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach
Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course
Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples
Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

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