There is actually nothing worse in a relationship like having your partner suffering from depression.It is really heart aching watching them go through this dark period of life.Usually many relationship fail or end because of it.Especially when the situation start wearing on both parties.



Depression makes people think irrationally and causes them to be blind to the good things in life, like you. They will make you feel like everything you do to try and make their world a little better is a wasted effort. It isn't, though.

The fact that you are there beside them means more to them than you will ever realize. They wouldn't blame you for leaving and will sometimes try and make the decision easier for you. They don't really want you to leave, though. They want you to be with them and help if you can.

The first thing that you can do to help them deal with their depression is to understand it. Educate yourself about this mental disorder. Seek out to find what causes it. It could be because they lost a job or did something that brought on a feeling of failure. There are many reasons that it could have started but one thing is certain, even if you are in a strong relationship, depression, once it has begun can snowball.

You will need to make sure that you take care of yourself in this relationship. Depression, gone unchecked, can be contagious. When you are learning about depression make sure that you are watching for signs that you may be exhibiting. If you are then you should be quick in seeking help from psychologists or counselors. Once both of you start falling into depression it may be impossible for either of you to see the light of day. When you start getting worn down because of the weight of it all try and take some time to step back away from it and take care

A past relationship and depression sometimes go hand in hand. When a relationship has failed it is easy to feel like every relationship after that is doomed to fail. Once someone begins feeling that way they will many times turn their current relationships in to a failed one. If this has begun to happen it is important to get relationship advice from marriage counselors and work with them to prevent it. This is not the only reason that marriages or dating relationships fail while one is in depression. Just the strain will cause it to suffer. Seek relationship advice from trained professionals as much as possible.

Never give up always believe that your efforts and presence are all part of the treatment for depression.There are few things more powerful than what can come from a strong relationship. Treatment for Depression without medicationis very possible when the one you love has you to depend on. With a strong relationship depression can be beaten.

Stress-Free Holiday Season

The holiday season can be, if we let it, a very stress filled time of year. There is pressure to over shop and over spend; decorating, and entertaining. For those who are single or away from family, this can be a lonely time. People can feel left out and isolated. For other families, simply getting together can lead to tension and worse. One of my clients commented that she had no good memories of Christmas as a child. She said her mother was so stressed out about things having to be just so at Christmas, that all she could remember was that she always seemed to be in trouble and her mother was always angry with her.


Regardless of your personal holiday history, you can choose to find peace and happiness at this time of year. Here are some suggestions for creating peace and happiness:
• Choose to slow down
• Choose to feel and express gratitude
• Choose to be generous with your time and your love
• Choose to SMILE
• Choose to take a deep breath or several if necessary
• Choose to create happy memories
• Choose to keep things simple
• Choose to be playful and see things from a child’s perspective
• Choose to find joy in the small moments
• Choose to give gifts that say, I know you, rather than cost a lot
• Choose to make and stick to a budget (Trust me this will make after the holidays more peaceful and happy)
• Choose to expect to have a great time NO MATTER WHAT

Holidays in general breed unrealistic expectations. The minute you start wondering, 'is it going to be wonderful enough?,' it never will be.
Pepper Schwartz

Make up your mind that you are going to find ways to enjoy the holiday season. Decide that you are going to create peace and joy for yourself and let that feeling ripple out among those that you know and come in contact with. Remember: How we treat family members or clerks at the store or people in traffic is so much more important than what we buy or who we impress.

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

Merry Christmas

My heart to you is given:
Oh, do give yours to me;
We'll lock them up together,
And throw away the key.
Frederick Saunders

It’s getting close to that time of year where give our loved ones gifts and presents; so I decided to give you some gifts.



The first is a list of advice that has been given to couples:

• Be best friends.
• Court each other forever.
• Choose happiness over being right.
• Your partner comes first, before anybody or anything.
• Balance couple time and you time.
• Remember, foreplay never stops; it goes on day after day.
• Never assume.
• If you are doing things that cause you to think or say “I
can’t tell my spouse this,” you shouldn’t be doing it.
• Always compliment each other. "Tell your wife that she
looks pretty even if she looks like a truck." Ricky, age 10
• When you vent about your spouse, you need to say three
positive things as well.
• Always make time for the two of you.
• Fight fair, respectfully and focused.
• Sometimes marriage is a bed of roses and sometimes there
are thorns.
• Understand that most marriages go through rough patches and
the best time to seek help is at the start, when you still like
each other.
• Remember that people do fight. It's how you do it that
matters.
• Respect each other's privacy.
• Never Keep Secrets.
• Surprise each other now and then.
• Have date night! Dates are for having fun, and people
should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have
something to say if you listen long enough. Lynnette, age 8
• Hold hands. "They want to make sure their rings don't fall
off because they paid good money for them." Dave, Age 8
• Talk daily.
• Choose the one you love, then love the one you choose. "One
of you should know how to write a check. Because even if you
have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills."
Ava, Age 8
• Never compare, you always loose.
• Fight naked. ;)
• Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?
• The secret to a happy marriage is two TV's!
• Keep family, friends and in-laws at a distance in marriage.
• Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.
• It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys
need somebody to clean up after them. (Anita, Age 9)
• No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has
something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and
deodorant are so popular. (Jan, Age 9)
• Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You
might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as
love. (Alonzo, Age 9)
• Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you
never take out the trash. (Randy, Age 8)


And the second gift is permission to laugh and have fun with each other and with your relationship. As you can tell from the above list other people’s viewpoints are often humorous and insightful. So in your marriage look at things from each other’s perspective and see how that feels to you.

Marriage is a serious and sometimes trying undertaking and we often get so caught up in that part of it that we forget to enjoy it.

Remember, you got married because of how you felt, not only about each other but also how you feel when you are together. The greatest gift you can give each other is your total and unconditional love; that and patience and generosity. Take care of each other and have a Merry Christmas season.

Dallas Munkholm, B.A., B.Com., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine