Just A Little Help
In looking back at the articles I’ve written I realize that it may appear that I assume a lot of the relationships out there are in trouble. Not so, most are just fine; maybe they need a little fine-tuning but in general they are great. So what can I say that can assist those relationships?
I am reminded of a quote by Leo Buscaglia, “Life is not a trip in itself. It is not a goal. It is a process. You get there step by step by step by step. And if every step is wondrous and every step is magical, that’s what life will be.” The same holds true for your relationship, it is a process and it must be taken a step at a time. If you make those steps wonderful and magical and full of love and excitement then your relationship and your life will be that also.
Start by living your life with zeal and with great expectations. Want the best from yourself and from your partner, you both deserve it. Dance in the kitchen, laugh in the dark, sing in the rain. Buscaglia says, “I won’t! That’s a dead end.” So try, do things different than you have, once in a while have dessert first.
Someone once said, “Sometimes we get so involved in the questions that we don’t live the answers.” At times we can get too analytical, too focused on doing it just right that we forget to live. My personal trainer once told me as I was straining and struggling to do just one more rep properly, to breath. She said that it would not help me to do the exercise properly and die because I quit breathing.
Love each other, love being together, love life. Karl Menniger said, “Love cures, the ones who receive love and the ones who give it.” Emerson has given us the way to solve our little mistakes when he said, “The remedy of all blunders, the cure of crime, is love.” Buscaglia said, “No one is too big for a hug. Everyone wants a hug. Everyone needs a hug.” Make sure you begin and end your days with a hug, tell each other how much you care and love one another.
Make it a habit to say how thankful you are for each other. Do the little things that say how grateful you are for your partner. Express your gratitude for kindness and caring to each other. Daily say thank you to each other. Sean Stephenson in his book Get Off Your “But” says, that “gratitude is simply focused appreciation. It is nearly impossible to be upset in a space of gratitude.“
Take care of each other, but also take care of yourself. A relationship is only as healthy as those in it. So deal with your stuff. Work out your emotional and spiritual issues. Strive to achieve a place of peace and harmony within yourself. Meditate, exercise, learn, teach and become what you have the potential to be.
The poet Gibran has said:
Sing and dance together and be joyous,
But let each one also be alone.
Even as the strings of a lute are alone
Though they quiver to the same music.
Dallas Munkholm, B.A., B.Com., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach
Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course
Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples
Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine
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