Relationship

Now there is a real person --not just a faceless web page--who makes himself available to people on the internet

I have reduced my fee to the lowest ever for the Labor Day Weekend! Fast, friendly, professional feedback on relationship issues. Telephone, texting or email.

First three minutes of live chat texting are free!

7 days a week. Pay per minute. Stop whenever you want. You are in control. Compare and save.

Visit my Liveperson virtual office for information.

Who is Roland?


Roland who has an earned MS and Doctorate and over 22 years experience helping people from all walks of life on his radio program, says that he has observed that if a person looks for some feedback on some life or relationship issue on the internet, and is given any personal attention at all, it is from some faceless person.

A. MS in Human Relations, Doctorate in Pastoral Psychology, 20 year graduate school lecturer and author of 14 books. Over a million people have listened to Roland on the radio. His radio advice program has aired for 22 years.

"There's a whole big world out there, says Roland, who has a Doctorate in Pastoral Psychology and who has 22 years experience helping people. For too long, people on the internet have been ignored or not taken seriously.


"There is a world of hurt out there," says Roland. "People have needs, and many people just don't want to travel across town or get involved in some organization. Plus they want convenience."

"But people on the internet are real people who have real questions about life, spiritual and emotional issues, and relationships. They just want some advice or some feedback from a real person who is a professional, that's all.


That's why I'm here. I care about human beings and I will give you a truthful answer grounded in common sense and understanding of human nature. I hope this new service is a success, says Roland. I'll do my best. It just depends on whether people respond or not. "

"By the way," says Roland, "check out my blogs and free stuff in the right column. You will find dozens of articles, free books to read and more. All free."


I also understand that many people are already in therapy or getting help. I don't mind providing a little spiritual care giving to complement the care they are already getting.
Here are just a few of the issues I've been helping people with for 22 years:
Marriage issues, such as marital unhappiness, and communication issues,

Coping with infidelity

Relationship issues, including dating and courtship

Overcoming emotional issues, such as unhappiness, upset, anger, or anxiety

Letting go of doubts and fears

Parenting issues, blended families, single parenting

Help coping with stress

Overcoming feelings of inferiority or insecurity.

I look forward to chatting with you. Best time to reach me is 4 to 9 PM, California time 7 days a week.

1. No one is listening and no one feels heard or understood. You both end up feel more and more frustrated. Often arguments end, not because anything has been resolved, but because one or both of you have become so exhausted that you give up or walk away.
2. Both sides quickly become defensive and react to what the other is saying. Considering possible solutions often take a back seat to throwing insults at each other.
3. You both tend not to be completely honest with yourselves or your partner. As your anger rises, you get stuck in blaming your partner and find it difficult to see your own contribution to the problem.
4. Arguments often become an excuse for dumping a truck load of garbage on your partner. Past hurts and resentments are used to pummel each other, to either deflect from dealing with the present issue or to release emotions that have been stuffed away.
5. You are so busy defending yourself that you do not have the opportunity to consider that some of what your partner is saying may be valid and that there may be more than one way to arrive at a solution.
6. Both of you are so busy hanging on to your positions and having to be right, that you miss the opportunity to become a team working together to solve a problem.

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C., C.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach
Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course
Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples
Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

Now you can download many of Dr. Roland Trujillo's books to your computer or mobile device to start reading and benefiting from right now.

For example, you can immediately download The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage: Making Relationships Work for only $5.00.

At his request, all eBooks on Scribd are now $5.00 or less. Some much less.

If your budget is really tight, but you want an informative in depth books about relationships, you can download Roland's classic Marriage Matters: Lessons from the Past, Hope for the Future for only $1.00.

Preview now

Listen to Dr. Roland discuss how suppressed anger, resentment and secret judgment sustain unfinished business and contribute to stress and upset.

Arguing all the time? Stressed? Hurt feelings? I freely share my secrets to relationship success based on over 22 years of counseling on the radio and 14 books. In fact, the advice I give is also helpful for PTSD, chronic unhappiness and anxiety. Listen in and see if what I say doesn't make sense. Resentment is often the unknown cause of many of our issues, or it contributes to issues and makes them worse. Arguing, unhappiness, unfulfilment, bitterness, and feelings of inferiority often have their roots in resentment. I offer a meditation to cope with stress, and my book The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage has strategies for improving relationships and quality of life.

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C., C.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach
Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course
Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples
Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

Contrary to popular opinion, money is not the main cause of divorce. Nor is it sex. So says Roland Trujillo, 22 year on the air relationship coach, marriage mentor and stress expert.


Josh and Kaitlin just had another big argument. This time the huge spat was over the toothpaste tube.

Last week they had a big argument over money. Two weeks ago the argument was over whether to have the window open or closed.

Each time she throws everything in his face. He clams up. Nothing is solved. Another layer is added to unfinished business and baggage from the past, which resurfaces the next time they argue.

To the untrained observer, it would appear that the issue was the toothpaste tube, money or the window. But to Dr. Roland Trujillo, not so.

"The toothpaste tube is only the occasion for pent up hostility, suppressed angers and long standing unfinished business to burst forth."

Roland continues: "Here's the rest of the story. Josh comes home from work and sits down in front of the television. Kaitlin had been working all day and taking care of the kids. She feels unappreciated.

Josh can sense that she is angry about something, but he doesn't want to begin a conversation because he knows the dam will break and she will throw a long list of things in his face. So he avoids talking.

Josh stays home in the evening even though his friends want him to play cards with them. He is angry because she does not appreciate his sacrifice. Kaitlin complains that the repair he made in the bathroom is not working so she is going to have to call someone else to do it who knows what they are doing. Josh feels like she does not respect him.

Kaitlin wants to talk. She hopes the maybe when thy go to bed, they can talk like they used to. Josh falls asleep right away. Kaitlin feels unloved.

Kaitlin admits to her friend that she tends to throw everything at him all at once. He probably feels overwhelmed says her friend. I know, says Kaitlin, but I can't help it. I keep trying to get his attention."

And once she does, everything that she has been holding in comes out. Afterwards she feels guilty about it.

Josh tells his friends that he loves his wife, but "she is never satisfied with anything I do." "I'm always wrong."

Soon one or both of them are thinking: "I'm tired of arguing. I'm tired of not being appreciated. I'm tired of being the one who has to work on our marriage. I'm tired of always giving in for peace. We have nothing in common. The love is gone."

Here's the bottom line, says Roland. Kaitlin is resentful. And so is Josh. It is the resentment that causes the accumulation of hurt feelings and hostility. The accumulation of upset leads to either exploding in anger or suppressing and clamming up. Neither is healthy.

Resentment washes away reason. Resentment takes away the ability to be reasonable and calm. It leads to frustration and upset. These lead to discouragement, feeling tired, negative thinking, stress and physical symptoms that stress contributes to.

I can help, says Roland. By learning to let go of resentment, you stop upset, frustration, bitterness, discouragement and all the other negative symptoms and feelings. It is also resentment that makes you feel empty.

In case you haven't guessed. The number one cause of mariatal and relationship problems is resentment. I know-- finances, work, in laws and so on are issues too. So is alcohol or drugs. But if you could take out the resentment factor, you would be able to think more clearly and act less emotionally. You would also be more forgiving. Without resentment, your problems are solvable--tough, perhaps--but solvable.

And if you feel all stressed out or chronically unhappy--look carefully to see if resentment is contributing to your stress and unhappiness.





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Take the resentment away
And make every day
A Love-ly Day!