Preview A Guide to True Peace Revisited in Kindle and gift size paperback at Amazon.com

There is a way of living and moving and having our being that is happy
and care free, and through which we can find the love to solve our
problems and prevent new ones.

We need love to deal kindly and wisely with our family and acquaintances.
We need love to be patient with our own errors. We need understanding to
respond wisely to others and to gain insight into the nature of
our own mental and emotional issues.

Few have written as beautifully and convincingly about the inner way
to the blessed life as Madame Jeanne Guyon, Francois Fenelon
and Michael Molinos.

It is from their timeless writings that this book is gleaned.
Newly edited with a special introduction by Roland Trujillo,
this jewel will become one of your favorite companions as you discover
in each of these three mystical writers a kindred spirit.


Roland Trujillo is the author of 14 books, including A Guide to True Peace Revisited (a compilation of the writings of Madame Guyon, Francois Fenelon, and Miguel Molinos). He is a leading authority on Christian mindfulness meditation and a scholar in the field of Catholic mysticism and contemplative prayer.

Do You Like Who You See In The Mirror?

Are you self-rejecting or self-accepting? When you see your reflection in the mirror, do you smile acceptingly or do you flinch and groan internally? Some people fear that liking their image in the mirror will mean that they are vain or conceited. Others reject themselves because they are measuring themselves against the fictitious standards of beauty photoshop has created. Still others reject themselves because their lives have not turned out the way they hoped they would.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person might not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.”  Bob Moorehead


Today I want to talk about the importance of family relationships because most of us have families. Families are important because they teach us, inspire us, chastise us, laugh with and at us, care for us, love us and usually want to be with us or have regular contact with.

Families provide a sense of continuity and permanence, for some of us the only such sense we have. As parents we want the best for our children, some of us even want what our children consider their best.  Quite often, even with adult children one or both parents still want to control their children’s lives. Two words of advice: “Stop It!” we cannot protect our children from the hardships of the world and if we could it would be harmful to them. Children need to learn to stand up for themselves and learn to defend and support themselves.

One of the essential things a family can give is total and complete acceptance and love. When as children we have experienced this type of love we grow up less dysfunctional and more settled. By settled I mean that life is good for us, we usually see the glass half full and laugh and love easier, because we are loved.

Love is the glue that binds families with ties that can last through life and its many storms. As families we are able to look at each other with a huge degree of tolerance for foibles, mistakes and silly arguments and tiffs. Some of my favorite moments with my brothers and sisters is to talk, laugh and shout about the things we did or didn’t do as kids. With my own kids it is just sitting around the table after someone’s birthday supper and laughing until we hurt and telling stories on each other.

My wife recently wanted to start a book of moments to remember; inspired by the song of the same name; and my kids thought this was hilarious. There was the skiing off the hayshed roof tale, the falling out the sliding glass doors, the rabbit passed off as chicken incident, the baking of my own birthday cake memory and many “It’s not your memory Mom, just put it down in the book.”  This experience has led to laughing, some crying and a lot of great closeness between our kids and us.

My measure of how well we did as parents has nothing to do with university degrees, money in the bank or big houses; it is in how much our kids want to be with each other and with us. The times and ways that they will sacrifice to help each other; this is the true measure of our success; our kids like each other and are best friends along with their spouses.

So, dad cherish that moment when your 3 year old climbs up into your lap with wet pants and a dirty face and hands and wants to give a big hug and tell you about the flutterbys he saw this afternoon. That is the stuff that goes into your “Moments to Remember.” When your 18 year old is waiting, crying in the garage, to tell you that she has screwed up and wants some help to fix it; you have a choice—love and help or be a “parent” and try to teach—know this, this is a choice that will haunt you or reward you the rest of your life. Decide now what you want from your family when you are older because if you don’t start now you won’t be able to later.

Yes we have a responsibility to teach our children correct principles and at times discipline is required, discipline not punishment. To discipline is to teach our children and patience is the second best teacher next to love and acceptance. Never disrespect, always remember they are people with rights and need to be treated with utmost dignity. One of the major paradoxes of life is that we expect the best from our family and often treat them the worst; go figure.

One of life’s greatest joys is to be a grandparent; to hold in your arms that precious newborn and see life’s continuing circle; it is fantastic. The permanence that is family is now extended by one more link that forges past to present to future. Let us never forget the rich blessings that including our elders in our family gatherings can bring. The memories, the stories, the love of life and family and life experiences can enrich the conversation, provide a passageway into our personal past and give children a chance to feel and understand the normal path of life.

I need you to know and understand that I love my wife, our parents and grandparents and even the great-grandparents I personally knew. There are many life times of memories and experiences to live, feel and draw upon. My life changed the day my first son was born, he is my first born and changed with the birth of each of our four children. I love the memories I have of our little family growing up together and by listening to my kids, so do they.

My children have chosen great, spectacular spouses and they have entered into our private circle of love. Each of my in-law children brings something special to our family and I cherish and enjoy each of them. My wife said to me the other day as I was playing with my 8 year old grandson, “this is our reward for raising our kids.” She is right; our greatest blessing is to sit in a family gathering and watch our children and grandchildren interact with love, with teasing and with caring. Families are among the most important relationship we will ever have. Enjoy them. Cherish them. Honour them.

“When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching -- they are your family. ” Jim Butcher


Dallas Munkholm, B.A., B.Com., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach
Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course
Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples
Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

Boosting Your Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is our estimate of our worth as a person. It encompasses decisions we have made about who we are and the beliefs that we hold about ourselves. If you were to finish the sentence, I am . . . several times, you may get a peek into the state of your self-esteem. Whether you see yourself in a positive or negative light affects every decision that you make. It affects the way you treat yourself and the way you allow others to treat you.

It is important to recognize, that since your self-esteem has a lot to do with decisions you have made about yourself, that you have the power to boost your self-esteem. If you think that your self-esteem is lacking, then you have the opportunity to do something about it.


There are certain practices that you can choose to help you strengthen your self-esteem:

Self-acceptance
Self-acceptance means loving yourself unconditionally. It does not mean that you do not want to improve, it just means that you accept that this is who you are in this moment. It means that you stop berating and belittling yourself.

Accept 100% Responsibility
This is very empowering. Letting go of excuses and blame means that you are in control of your life. When you accept 100% responsibility for the state of your life and the state of your self-esteem you free yourself from waiting for anyone else to change so that your life can improve.

Stand Up For Yourself
If you do not respect and value yourself, other never will. Find your voice and learn to be assertive rather than passive, aggressive or passive aggressive. As you learn to say yes to what you want and need and no to what you do not need or want your opinion of yourself will increase.

Turn Off The Auto-Pilot
Become aware of your thoughts, feelings and actions. Decide to be proactive and to more consciously choose those thoughts, feelings and actions. Accept that your wants and needs are as important as those of others.

Set Goals
Having a sense of purpose and direction boosts self-esteem. Find something that excites and interests you. Set your sights on improving yourself and your situation and more importantly set your sights on helping others.

Guard Your Integrity

Say what you mean and mean what you say. Be honest with yourself and with those around you. When you go against what you value in order to please others, you hurt your opinion of yourself.

Nathaniel Brandon said, “Since self-esteem is a consequence, a product of internal generated practices, we cannot work on self-esteem directly, neither our own nor anyone else's. We must address ourselves to the source . . . create a climate that supports and reinforces the practices that strengthen self-esteem.”

“And he knew, also, what the old man was thinking as his tears flowed, and he, Rieux, thought it too: that a loveless world is a dead world, and always there comes an hour when one is weary of prisons, of one's work, and of devotion to duty, and all one craves for is a loved face, the warmth and wonder of a loving heart.”

Albert Camus, The Plague

Cohabitation is now viewed as the model of marriage preparation. Cohabitation is growing fast, much faster than marriage.

More children are born into cohabiting situations than to just a single mom with no man around).

A great majority of young people think that cohabitation is the smart way to wade into marriage. But the research shows that nothing will guarantee divorce like cohabitation does.

The sociologists call it "the cohabiting effect." Cohabitors have more brittle and fragile relationships that marrieds do.

Ladies need to understand that cohabitation is not taking the guy in the direction of commitment. Researchers find that the cohabiting guy who later gets married is less committed than those guys who are married from the start (and who don't live together).

Cohabitation is the relationship on the guys terms. Marriage is on the wife's terms. There is something about marriage that empowers the woman.

Now that I've got your interest, please listen to this informative interview which has information every young lady needs to know. It is based on research and it makes a powerful case for not cohabiting and not cohabiting before marriage.

Here's the introduction to the program.

Cohabitation doesn't hurt anybody. Or does it? Researcher Glenn Stanton, author of the book, "The Ring Makes all the Difference", talks about the cons of living together with the opposite sex without the benefit of marriage. Stanton talks about the impact cohabitation has on women and children.

Listen March 21, 2012 interview with Glenn Stanton, part 2.

Here is part 1 of the interview. Listen to both. I listened to part 2 first, but whichever order you listen in, both episodes are excellent, riveting, and very informative.

Here’s a concise summary of a major new study from anthropologists and economists from the US and Canada on why monogamy is increasing as a social norm in most developed nations when the very people who make a nation’s laws are men who have both the power and resources to gather many, many wives.

Their answer is sheer pragmatics. Monogamy simply makes for a better, safer society.

Sex is not the only intimacy. Cohabiting relationships are qualitatively different become the separate these intimacies out.

God says - Don't' have sex outside of marriage not just because He is mean, but because of what marriage is. Because of what the human is. Marriage is sacred. Sex is sacred. Humans are created in the image and likeness of God.

"The ring on a man's finger makes him a safer and more respectful individual than the boy friend." For example, very few fathers will abuse their children. But according to Mr. Stanton, the statistics for live in men to abuse the children is, as he put it, off the charts.

Cohabitation impacts kids negatively. Three times more children in cohabiting situations are in poverty than those living in married families (despite the fact that there are more 2 incomes when cohabiting.

"Cohabitation is a relationship on the guy's terms. (Marriage is on the woman's terms.)"

You deserve better.