Archive for June 2013

Why We Have Food Problems, a Look at Food, Love and Relationships

“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.”

― Erma Bombeck

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz

Hippocrates said: "Let your food be your medicine."

"This much I know," said Augustine, "I should take my food as my medicine."

“I am a better person when I have less on my plate.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

"There is a mystery to food and to eating, and there is a reason why we all have food issues." Dr. Roland Trujillo

Find out more in my new book. Here is a sneak preview.

Eating Issues - A spiritual odyssey in search of health,wholeness, fulfillment and love

Food disorders, addiction, emotional problems, and even sickness may have a common root. This book reveals why the whole human race has food issues, and why how we eat hold the key to our spiritual and emotional recovery.

Most people have issues with food. The reason is deeper than just what or how much we eat.

Food has a mysterious hold on the human race and it alters our consciousness. That is why when we start eating, we end up eating too much. Food is also connected with our ego life support.
We look to food to comfort us and to give us security. But the very food that comforts us also makes us resentful when we discover that it has enslaved us.

So we have a love/hate relationship with food, and food substances,
even as we have a love hate relationship with our mother and others who support our ego.
The answer, of course, is love. We crave a love that food will not satisfy.

There, have I whetted your appetite? Read more.

Want it now to download to your computer or mobile device? Forbidden Food is is now available in a Kindle edition.

You can also send me a donation of any amount,
and I will send you a pdf of the eBook by email.

Eating Issues - A spiritual odyssey in search of health,wholeness, fulfillment and love

"This much I know," said Augustine, "I should take my food as my medicine."

“I am a better person when I have less on my plate.”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

This book was originally written a few years ago when I found out that a good friend was diagnosed with cancer. Since that time I have continued my spiritual journey and continue to ponder and make discoveries about our fallen human condition. What I write is the result of my own searching. I present it with gratitude, and I offer it in the hope that it will be of help to you.

I recently read a fact sheet from the American Obesity Association which revealed that one third of Americans are obese. Another fact sheet discussed the correlation between obesity and diabetes, kidney problems, and certain types of cancer.

This morning I was paging through a popular magazine at the supermarket checkout counter, and I saw many pictures and several stories about well known Hollywood stars suffering from anorexia nervosa, bulimia, weight and dieting issues, compulsive eating, alcohol or substance abuse.

A person can have no weight issues, no substance issues, and eat the very best organic food available, and yet be perfectly miserable. That person will be surprised to discover the very subtle involvement of food and food substances in their unhappiness and lack of fulfillment.

Though we must eat to live, we must learn to eat so that our food does feed what is wrong with us. Because the effect is by its nature unconscious, it takes a good detective and a very aware observer to detect its subtle impact on our well being.

For example, the perennial question "why do good people do bad things?" can be answered in part by the fact that people often do bad things when they are in a trance. People do wrong or foolish things when under the spell of emotions or the influence of drugs. But believe it or not, the mere act of eating has an effect on our consciousness.

Eating introduces a mild trance state. When we eat, we are suddenly less aware, less disciplined, and more suggestible. It is no coincidence that office affairs often begin with an invitation to a cup of coffee or a lunch.

People exert their will through food. It often begins at home—where when you accepted mother's food, you also accepted her will. Is it any wonder that we develop a love hate/relationship with food? Food represents comfort. Food fills the emptiness. But food also represents someone's will, and we end up struggling with food through transference, when what we are really struggling with is the spirit of the one who imposed her will on us.

A few years ago, Dr. Margo Maine coined the phrase "father hunger," and in her book Father Hunger: Fathers, Daughters, and Food, she discusses the importance of father in a child's life.

I have been saying the same thing for 25 years. Love is what we need to fill the emptiness. Father represents God in the eyes of the child, and when father is distant, it is to the child as if God is distant. It is resentment toward our failing father that separates us from our inner ground of good and leads to and sustains a host of emotional, eating and body image issues.

It is fortunate that resolution and recovery can take place despite an absent or distant father. Through understanding, we can learn to forgive our failing father and unloved mother, and through forgiveness find the love of the Father Spirit within.

We all like sheep have gone astray. We sense something missing in our lives. We sought the love of the world or the love of food, but when worldly love and food betray us, we are stuck with seeking more of the love that does not fulfill, like drinking sea water, or seeking stronger ways of numbing the pain and filling the emptiness.

Nowhere does the mysterious effect of food become more evident than when we are faced with a serious health issue. We may suspect that somehow food was involved in its inception and development, and we also sense that something about food might be a key to recovery.

Food is subtly involved in the tragedies of our lives. It also reinforces what we have become and prevents our finding our true self we might have been. Even the eating of cultural food somehow contributes to keeping us divided rather than experiencing unconditional love for and solidarity with our fellow humans from other traditions.

Though a person does not have an obvious food issue, he or she is still under the spell of cultural food, as well as misdirections, and errors associated with a fallen culture and its food. We must understand food if we are to resolve our issues and find love for one another.

If food has played a role in our cultural divides, and in our emotional, spiritual and health issues, we may discover the resolution of our struggle with issues through understanding them in light of the food connection. Perhaps with understanding, our food might become our partner in recovery, and we might find the love we have been searching for all our lives.

Click here to Preview now

Roland Trujillo is the author of 17 books and has been helping people cope with stress and emotional issues for over 25 years. His radio show has aired for almost a quarter of a century. Join Roland in this exciting and mysterious journey into Forbidden Food

Negativity Saps Relationship Energy

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Negativity Saps Relationship Energy

It is fairly obvious that we enjoy being around people who like us and help us feel better about ourselves. Consider your interactions with your partner. How welcome do they feel when you greet them? How appreciated might they feel? If they were asked to sum up your opinion of them, how might they respond?

The phenomenon of the self-fulfilling prophecy can have a powerful impact on our lives. This phenomenon suggests that what we believe to be true comes to pass because we behave as if it were already true. You might want to stop and ask yourself how your thoughts, actions and beliefs have contributed to the present state of your relationship?

You have great power to influence not only how you feel, but also the tone and quality of your relationship by adjusting your thoughts and beliefs about your partner. As an experiment, try focusing only or mainly on what your partner does that is wonderful. Spend time each day enjoying memories of positive and happy moments, even if you have to dig into your memory to find them. Express gratitude to your partner and let them know why you think they are special, smart, creative, etc. Do this experiment for at least two weeks. Pay attention to any differences that you notice in your feelings and attitudes, as well as any differences that you notice in your partner.

You are not responsible for your partner’s behavior. Their behavior is outside of your control. But it is not outside of your influence. The best way to influence someone’s behavior is through respect, kindness and a positive example. At any rate you can choose how you will be in your relationship; choose to act rather than react to your partner.

Pay attention to your thoughts. How many times a day are you thinking about how wonderful, amazing or interesting your partner is? How often, each day, do you compliment your partner? Compare that number to the number of times a day you complain to or about your partner.

When you choose to focus on what is missing from your relationship, you will drain your energy, your partner’s energy and quite possibly the vitality right out of your relationship. When you focus on what is amazing and wonderful in your relationship, you will infuse yourself and your partner with energy, and possibly revitalize your relationship.

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C., C.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach
Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course
Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples
Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

The Most Profound Marriage Book Published in the last 19 Years

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"Roland, thank you so much for your book.
When I heard that you are a pastor, I hesitated to order it because I'm not into religion. But because I wanted to learn more about why I can't stop resenting my husband so much, I went ahead and got the book. I'm so glad that I did. The advice is very practical, and the book is filled with some beautiful spirituality too. I spent over a thousand dollars to register and fly to an out of town seminar I could have saved the thousand and got your book instead." Suzy - San Bernardino

"The perfect book for troubled couples with different type of problems . . .
I can assure it will be one of the better books I have ever read." review of The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage

Why do couples argue?
How can we put the sparkle back in our marriage?
How can we communicate better?
I’m a Christian but my boyfriend is not.
What is the difference between courtship and casual dating?
My wife asked me to leave.
Why are men the way we are?
What does my wife want?
Can we reconcile?
My wife cheated on me –now what?

Based on over 20 years of counseling couples and answering questions on the radio. Roland tackles the tough questions with humor, discernment, and refreshing honesty. From the Garden of Eden to the 21st century, he’s got relationships covered.

Click here to preview the paperback edition at Amazon.com

About the Author

Roland Tru

jillo, lecturer and author, introduces his new comprehensive look at the delights, the challenges and the mysteries of marriage. For over 20 years, Roland has been helping couples repair their relationships and move forward to optimal living. Roland is now bringing his insights, based in compassion and spiritual principles, to a new level in this unique look at the perils, pitfalls, and promises of relationships.

Look inside the eBook in Kindle at Amazon.com

Here are just some of the topics discussed

The Dating and Mating Game Is Not a Game
“A Rose by Any Other Name is Still a Rose”
Why I Decided to Become a Pastor
Where to Find Real Solutions to your Relationship Woes
Why Couples Argue
Myths of Marriage

How to Forgive and Forget
How to Apologize and Clear the Air with Dignity
Just How Important is Dad?
Marriage Counseling for Men
Can I Reconcile with My Husband, Wife, or Child?
Is Food Your Secret Lover and Enabler?
Dealing with Hard Times
Adam and Eve: The First Dysfunctional Family
My Husband is Annoying
My Wife Asked Me to Move Out –What Should I
Do?
Advice to Divorced Moms
My Wife Cheated on Me – Now What?
Finding the Best Marriage Advice

The Strong Family—Ten Lessons in Faithfulness

Purchase at Amazon.com in quality paperback for $14.95

Now available in Kindle!

Check out the free mobile app for special savings for mobile app users

Putting the Forever Back in Love - Advanced Concepts in Relationship Building

Click here to preview at Amazon.com in paperback

Click here to preview in Kindle!

This book contains advanced concepts for coping with and resolving difficult relationship issues.

If you liked The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage you will love this book.

Been married for many years and have some issues? This is the book for you.

Based in 24 years of research and counseling, Dr. Trujillo presents new insights and strategies for healing relationships and resolving stress and unhappiness. Partners, parents, couples considering marriage, and adult children of dysfunctional families will find both practical and spiritual principles to help them move forward to happiness.

Got a budget? For a donation of any amount I will send you this 315 page book in pdf. attached to an email as a token of my appreciation.

Forbidden Food - the Legacy of Paradise Lost and the Promise of Redemption

Got food issues? What if the Garden of Eden is not a myth but a reality? What if the eating of forbidden food brought a curse on the human race? What if food is somehow subtly involved in our deterioration? What if food introduced a trance state in which we make mistakes and then wonder what happened? Originally entitled Recovering Health and Wholeness, now totally updated with 100 new pages, this intriguing book looks at forbidden food, the curse from the Garden of Eden, and the reality of redemption. In fact, resolving the food problem just might bring resolution to other life issues as well.

Click here to preview or download Forbidden Food

Want it in eBook and save money too? . For a donation of any amount, receive one of Roland's relationships eBooks free as a token of our appreciation.

How to Let a Man Feel Like a Man or How Not to Unwittingly Emasculate Him

11:29:00 Add Comment

Hello, my name is Roland. My books uncover the deepest aspects of human psychology and spirituality in relationships. My new book Forbidden Food reveals why food has such a hold on the human race and why food is such a problem for people.

In the Myths and Mysteries of Marriage, as well as in Putting the forever Back in Love, I offer insights into fatherhood, marriage, forgiveness, solving communication problems and much more.

But I also want to offer some super basic information (which many people just don't know) so that I also help people clear up misunderstandings that are not based in deep issues, but just something very basic.

This is stuff that a grandma, mom or wise ladies with gray hair and savoir faire know, but I have discovered that today many young ladies just don't know because no one ever took the time to tell them.

I know one lady who came from a very dysfunctional home, whose mom was very disturbed, and who got all she knows about life from college classes, peers and television.

She does not know how to be with a man. You can't learn it in college class rooms, from immature and ill informed peers, or from television.

So I will have a new tip every few days.

Forbidden Food - If you have food issues, you will want to read Roland's new book

19:27:00 Add Comment

Roland's new 300 page book about food is now ready.

What if the Garden of Eden is not a myth but a reality? What if the eating of forbidden food brought a curse on the human race?

What if food is somehow subtly involved in our deterioration.

What if food introduced a trance state in which we make mistakes and then wonder what happened? Originally entitled Recovering Health and Wholeness, now totally updated with 100 new pages, this intriguing book looks at forbidden food, the curse from the Garden of Eden, and the reality of redemption.

In fact, resolving the food problem just might bring resolution to other life issues as well.

Read an excerpt

Food: Friend or Foe?

Uncovering Food’s Mysterious Power over Us and Finding the Secret to Regeneration

Dr. Henry Bieler, a popular doctor who practiced medicine for over fifty years and who treated many Hollywood Stars, wrote a book called Food Is Your Best Medicine. Of course, he was talking about healthy food.

The other side of the coin is summed up in the words of Waldo McBurney, still going to work every day at age 106, who said, “We dig our graves with our forks.”

Food seems to be endowed with a mysterious power to make us better or worse, to upgrade or coarsen our existence. It is the vehicle by which culture stakes its claim over us. Then, by continuing to eat our cultural food, we are kept a part of that culture, and thus without even realizing it, prevent ourselves from becoming who we were really meant to be. It is for this reason that the average person lives in anxiety with a vague sense that something is wrong.

A steady diet of junk food, fast food, diet soda, and processed foods seems to be contributing to making Americans overweight, undernourished, and unhealthy in many ways. Somehow, the fast food fare is also contributing to a general coarsening of the population.

We are not as polite, as well mannered, or as noble as we once were. Our society is becoming impatient, selfish, harried, thoughtless and rude in countless ways.

Somehow, what we eat and the way we eat affect our way of living. Yet, though eating healthy food is good for you, it is not the total answer either. Health food cannot save you.

What then can we do? We must eat to live. Yet eating itself is somehow tied to our deterioration and demise.

The very act of eating has to be looked at and understood, so that we might eat in such a way as eat with understanding and with awareness, perhaps a dispensation from God, that will protect us from the curse of food.

Let us look at the food mystery and unpart the veil to the power that food has over us. If eating wrong food contributes to sickness, ill health and a downgrading of manners, can eating the right food stop our downward slide? And even more importantly, might we then, with awareness and grace, discover God’s plan of salvation?

Food has a curse attached to it. It was in the Garden of Eden where the human race fell from faith and reliance on the Creator. Food was involved in the fall. God had promised Adam that if he ate the forbidden food, he would surely die.

When Adam ate the forbidden fruit, it sealed the deal and made God’s promise a reality.

Today we, the distant relatives of fallen Adam and Even, must eat to live, but even as we eat, we are living under a death sentence. We try not to think about it, and for much of our life, most of us manage to sweep it under the rug. But as the years pass, we must begin to confront its reality whether we like it or not.

Eating good food (healthy, unprocessed, natural food from God’s garden) is likely to help us live longer. But even so, all it can do is prolong the inevitable. Even the best of food may not help us if we eat pridefully or while upset, angry, or in excess.

The best of food only helps us live longer. It does not remove the curse. The situation appears to be an insolvable dilemma. Because we must eat to live, we can’t just stop eating. Yet, food was involved in our fall and somehow contributes to our deterioration.

The evidence of food’s involvement in our fall can be seen today, if we care to look. First of all, many people simply eat too much of the wrong kind of food. And their food indulgence leads to illness and contributes to an early demise.

Food is also very often involved in our own personal misjudgments and errors. Many an affair or act of promiscuity is preceded by a meal. The salesman, recruiter, or person who is wooing you knows the best time to make his pitch is after the meal he invited you to. Somehow the food weakens our resolve and opens us up to some suggestion we might have resisted before the repast.

And don’t forget that marijuana, alcohol, and drugs are types of food: something we ingest. Somehow the drug, the marijuana or the alcohol separates us from awareness, from reason, from common sense, and from control. Then we say or do something we are sorry for later.

Medications are also substances to be ingested, and thus have the same trance producing effect that food has. While medications are often helpful, even life saving, they can also be addictive, over prescribed, or cause side effects. . . . .

Could it be that these effects of food and food-like substances are variations of the result of eating the forbidden fruit in the Garden? It could be, and it is.

Eating Issues - A spiritual odyssey in search of health,wholeness, fulfillment and love

Food disorders, addiction, emotional problems, and even sickness may have a common root. This book reveals why the whole human race has food issues, and why how we eat hold the key to our spiritual and emotional recovery.

Most people have issues with food. The reason is deeper than just what or how much we eat.

Food has a mysterious hold on the human race and it alters our consciousness. That is why when we start eating, we end up eating too much. Food is also connected with our ego life support.
We look to food to comfort us and to give us security. But the very food that comforts us also makes us resentful when we discover that it has enslaved us.

So we have a love/hate relationship with food, and food substances,
even as we have a love hate relationship with our mother and others who support our ego.
The answer, of course, is love. We crave a love that food will not satisfy.

There, have I whetted your appetite? Read more.

Want it now to download to your computer or mobile device? Forbidden Food is is exclusively available in eBook at Scribd.com.

You can also send me a donation of any amount,
and I will send you a pdf of the eBook by email.

Preview and download my new book

Eating Issues - A spiritual odyssey in search of health,wholeness, fulfillment and love

"This much I know," said Augustine, "I should take my food as my medicine."

“I am a better person when I have less on my plate.”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

A few years ago, Dr. Margo Maine coined the phrase "father hunger," and in her book Father Hunger: Fathers, Daughters, and Food, she discusses the importance of father in a child's life.

Roland Trujillo is the author of 17 books and has helped people cope with stress and emotional issues for over 25 years. His radio show has aired for almost a quarter of a century. Join Roland in this exciting and mysterious journey into Forbidden Food.