Update: Putting the Forever Back in Love, my new book with advanced concepts in relationship building is now available in Kindle

Plus a bonus section with strategies and insights for parents, parents to be, and adult children from dysfunctional families

 

Preview free now

Hi, everyone. I have long wanted to write another book for the many people who visit this blog. The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage: Making Relationships Work is, of course, my most popular book and people have told me how it has helped them.

But I have long wanted to write another book about some of the difficult issues that people come here looking for answers for.









For a suggested donation of $5.00 or more, I will send you the eBook in pdf as a token of my appreciation. I will send it attached to an email right away.

Just click here and make a donation of any amount at safe and secure Paypal.

As soon as I am notified by Paypal, I will send you an email asking which ebook you would like. Just say Putting the Forever back in Love. I'll send it by email right away.  

Putting the Forever Back in Love - Advanced Concepts in Relationship Building

It is 353 pages, and the kind of information you can hardly get anywhere else. I know you are going to like it.

 Did you know that the typical polyunsaturated vegetable oils found on the grocery store shelf are unstable, and sitting in the light on the shelf already start to get rancid and produce dangerous free radicals before you even take them home? 

I didn't. But I've learned a lot recently. Here is the story.

 I've been concerned about cooking oil for a long time. We all know that trans fats are bad for us. But my intuition told me that there had to be more to the story. 

During my research I discovered that the vegetable oils you find on the grocery store shelf that are touted as supposedly so good for us leave something to be desired. I discovered that cholesterol is not the bad thing that it has been portrayed as. I also read from several trusted sources that coconut oil and olive oil have much to recommend them. 

So I've been using olive oil whenever I can, but I knew that some pieces of the puzzle were still missing. 

A couple of weeks ago I was working in my office and I had Healthline on the radio in the background. All of a sudden my ears perked up when I heard Dr. Bob Marshall saying that he is always horrified when he sees the oils at the store sitting in the light on the shelf, so that they are becoming oxidized and rancid before you even take a bottle home. He mentioned how oils are sensitive to light and sitting on the grocery store shelf causes them to already deteriorate in the bottle, producing free radicals.

He talked about the dangers of free radicals which form when oil starts to go rancid. I know that cancer prevention specialists tell us to avoid free radicals, so I decided to remember what Dr. Marshall said and see if anyone else confirms it. 

A week later I was at the library and I saw a book by Dr. Andrew Weil on longevity. The great Dr. Andrew Weil on longevity - that was a book I could not pass up! 

So I checked it out and took it home. I began to read and all of a sudden I saw that he was saying the same thing as Dr. Marshall had said. He confirmed that oil is sensitive to light and to air and quickly starts to go rancid. He also warned about the dangers of deteriorating oil and free radicals. He talked about the benefits of olive oil and coconut oil.

I did some more research online and here is some of what I found which I want to share with you. 



Use olive oil for salads and low temperature cooking. Use coconut oil (or maybe even butter) for higher temperature cooking. Wonder why?  

 "Polyunsaturated oils are so vulnerable that even at room temperature and in subdued light oxidation occurs inside the bottle. All polyunsaturated vegetable oils sold at grocery stores have become rancid to some degree before you even bring them home. Because the oils have been highly refined and deodorized you can't smell or taste anything, but the free radicals are there, waiting to attack your body. "

Read the whole article by Dr. Bruce Fife. 

  Buy oil in small amounts. Oil, especially when exposed to light (like on the store shelf) and air, oxidizes and starts to go rancid, with dangerous free radicals.

Don't buy the gallon of oil. Buy your olive or coconut oil in small amounts, and use within a month. Store in a dark bottle or away from light. Keep the cap on, to keep out the air which will oxidize it and produce free radicals.

Read Dr. Fif'es article above and the article below by Dr. Mercola. A few minutes of your time may save your arteries.


Here's a great informative article and a 5 minute interview by Dr. Mercola about what oil to cook with. 

The beginning of the new year may be a great time to de-clutter your relationship. For the past several weeks we have been working intensely to de-clutter and organize our home. De-cluttering a home means taking stuff out and classifying it as garbage, give away or throw away. It seems reasonable that our relationships could benefit from some sorting and cleaning. Just like our homes can collect junk, if we are not careful our relationships can do the same thing.

• Criticism
• Judgment
• Blame
• Disrespect
• Contempt
• Defensiveness
• Withdrawal
• Punishing

• Protected time together
• Creating happy memories
• Acceptance
• Admiration
• Responsibility for yourself and to each other
• Openness
• Acceptance

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C., C.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach
Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course
Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples
Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

   To all the dear people around the world who visit this blog, I wish you all the very best for 2013. If the Good Lord is willing, I'll be around to write a few more blog posts and maybe stitch together some pages of another book.
   With each passing day it becomes more and more clear to me just how important love is. We all knew that when we were kids and teens. We saw mom and dad arguing. We heard mom complain about dad when he wasn't there and talked of divorce and and being unhappy. We said "Mom, just be happy. He's not so bad. Just enjoy all the things you enjoy." But she seemed to be under a compulsion to resent him and judge him and blame him.
    She gave him a hard time, or silently sulked, until she drove him to another woman, the bottle, work or an early heart attack. Then when he did fail, she puffed up and said "I knew it, see I'm right he is no good." Then out of guilt, she blamed herself.
    So when the relationship deteriorated, or one of them deteriorated physically when the stress was too much, and things went bad, just who was to blame?
    Both of them. He in his was, and she in her way. Neither had enough love to cancel out the resentment. But like I have always said, it is mostly his fault. You see, as the husband and father, he is like the captain of a ship. It is a lonely job. He must do his duty and if he has to suffer, he must suffer in dignity. If there is a mutiny, he holds his head up high and continues to do his duty.
    He stands for what is right. If there is complaining, he lets it go in one ear and out the other.
   He never waivers. He never vacillates. The more others are emotional, the more he is calm. The more others are unreasonable, the more his reasonable. The more another has judgment and resentment, the more he does not hate back.
    We are all familiar with hate. We have seen it and we have felt it come from another. We all know about judgment, contempt, and blame. We have experienced them and been shocked by them.
    It is hatred of all men, passed down from generation to generation, from unloved mother to daughter.  And it is use and abuse of women, even that of using a woman to support his ego, or later using her through resentment. The hatred of each other, multiplied by millions of homes around the world, that that is the Devil's feast. It is a hatred of human beings.
   And it is the devil in her that torments her with unhappy and bitter thoughts, and eggs her on to hate her husband and all men for having failed her. It is the hell in her that her husband was excited by--the temptation, the tease, the promise of naughty party time or mothering of his pride.  It is thus that she gains power over her man, and the hell in her rules them both.
    She hoped that he would be the knight in shining armor who would rescue her from her private hell, but alas, he used her instead.
    It is hate, you see, that we are dealing with. A terrible hate that underlies the violence and the false compassion that rule this planet. If there is an antidote to this hate, it has to be love. It has to be a very special deep love. A love so deep that it is rooted in a powerful source, a love so powerful that it pulls the rug out from under the hate with non response and love that burns and withers the evil source that currently operates through unaware people. It is a love that shines a light in the darkness. Light overcomes darkness.
    So you must forgive your poor old dad. He did not know what he was dealing with. And you must forgive your unloved mom. She hoped her husband would subdue the hell in her, but he was weak and unaware. Forgive and let the buck stop with you.
    Stop resenting your husband. He is just a man. And stop resenting your wife. She is just a woman.
    There is no courage without danger. There is no chance for love to shine if there is no hate.
    Men, if your wife's father was not there for her, and if she has been disappointed and used by men, then you must be the man of love and honor, who loves her for herself as a person, and who bears tribulation with grace. She cannot help but transfer her anger toward men to you, but when she sees that you are not like other men (though you were in the past, but are now waking up and becoming the man you are supposed to be), she will have hope. She may still test you, even for years, but when you do not fail her--when you are always there with a twinkle in your eye--she will come to respect you and perhaps one day love the good she sees in you.
   Right now she does not trust you. She will test you to see whether you really are becoming a man or whether it's just another act.   If she is a wicked woman, she will hate the good she sees and will do all she can to bring you down. But if she is decent, then a part of her, a part of her that has always yearned for the father she has never known, will respond to the good coming through you. And then many good things will come to pass.