Relationship

If your life is lacking a little in the romance department, maybe it is time to find your inner goddess.
It is important to see the divine in yourself, to understand your worth. When you approach your life from that centered place of knowing how wonderful and beautiful you truly are, rather than worrying about what other people say or think about you, you will see improvements not just in the romance department, but in all areas of your life.

Here are three simple challenges to help you find your inner goddess. They are simple, but not necessarily easy:

1. Stop putting yourself down!
Pay careful attention to your self-talk and learn to talk yourself up rather than down. If you make a mistake you are not stupid, you have learned one way not to do something. Talk to yourself like a kind and helpful coach, rather than a harsh critic.

2. Take the mirror challenge.
For two minutes a day for the next 30 days, stand naked in front of a full length mirror and simply accept and appreciate yourself. You are not allowed to pick out what you don’t like. Focus on loving and accepting yourself. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself giggling or even shedding a tear or two. If you persist you will find that you become more comfortable with yourself.

3. Give yourself a make over.
Get rid of anything in your closet that does not make you look good. Treat yourself with at least one outfit that makes you look fabulous. Get a bra that fits and flatters you. Get your nails or hair done. Most of all stand tall and smile. That creates the best make over of all.

Finding your inner goddess allows you to embrace the sexy, beautiful women that you are. When you feel sexy and beautiful, you will be sexy and beautiful. Remember, you are worth it.

"Unfortunately I am still in love with my ex but my ex is not in love with me or may be my ex is. what a mess.What should I do now?".If you ever found yourself thinking like this or if that even sounds a little like you, then you should know today, you are not the only one.You will not believe a good number of people still have touching feelings about their past love.If you watch MTV you must have seen the show X-factor.It is a good example of this fact.It is also a fact that if you are feeling like this probably your ex too is feeling the same no matter what he/she says.That how ever is true in cases where your ex really did love you ones.


But how can you find out if your ex still love you, should you call them and let them know? Or, should you keep your distance and play it cool and hope they'll realize that they still love you?

Instead of risking humiliation by pouring your guts out to your ex - right before they introduce you to their new love, take things slow and get a lay of the land. This can be done in several ways, you can ask your friends to discreetly ask around about your ex. They can find out if they're seeing anyone or if they've been going to the same places that the two of you used to go (if so, this could be a sign that they're hoping to 'bump' into you. Especially if it's a place they never went before the two of you got together). Just encourage your friends to use discretion. If your friends are the type of people who don't have a real strong grasp on discretion, this may not be the best approach for you to try.

Another way to find out if your ex has any feelings for you still, is to ask them. Again, discreetly. As we discussed above, you don't want to take the chance of being humiliated so instead of coming right out and asking use subtlety to find out. Call them up, say 'hi' ask what they've been up to. It's all very casual and you're not committing to anything, you're just trying to be friendly. It can be hard to take it slow when all you can think is 'I'm still in love with my ex and my ex might love me too' but you have to.

Don't start asking them about the people they are seeing. This will either come across as being an interrogation, or they'll guess your real intentions. Instead just forget that the two of you ever had a past and just be the fun loving, easy going person they fell in love with the first time the two of you got together.

Keep the reminiscing to a minimum unless they bring it up. If they do make a lot of references to the past it's very likely that you've got your answer. If they really didn't still care for you it's not very plausible that they'd keep talking about the past, as a matter of fact, it's not real likely that they would have met you for coffee in the first place.

If they bring it up, or you think that they are receptive, talk about the two of you. Again, if it seems like the right time to do it, tell them that you still care for them. This doesn't necessarily have to be a confession of your undying love, it's not unusual to still care for an ex, so if they react badly you're not on the hook. If they say that they still care for you or that they miss you, it might just be the beginning of the second chance for the two of you!

Using a little detective spirit in you to investigate your ex you might just find out that you will be thinking or rather be saying: I am still in love with my ex and my ex is still in love with me too!.

Good luck from


You can pick up more of such sleuthing tips From: Jason Hicks the Underground Breakup Expert

In my last post about ending a relationship we talked about doing some real soul searching before taking any action and how to take such an action the right way.Today I discided to talk about how to stop your divorce.Iwanted to deal with this specificaly because it is not just a dating relationship there are many factors that makes this worth writing about which you will learn very soon.How ever it is worth reading the last post because you will pick up points that I have not mension in this post now lets get started.


It's easy to get scared of the prospect of being alone, especially when you've been with someone for a long time. Just make sure that that is not the reason you want to stay married. It's not a good reason.

If you find that you really do want to save your marriage for the right reasons than you have got options. Here are some things you can do, or not do, to help save your marriage:

1. First things first, assuming that your partner isn't just a jackass, but has been a loving partner to you and has just gotten to the point where they don't see a future between the two of you, take some time to evaluate how you and your marriage have changed since the two of you have been together.

It's sad but true that we often drift apart from each but it happens so slowly we don't even realize it. Try to compare where the two of you are now in your relationship as opposed to where you used to be. Now don't be unrealistic. People change and so do relationships, you can't expect to feel exactly the same way together as you did when you were twenty. That's unrealistic. But that doesn't mean that as the two of you have changed and grown that your marriage can't change and grow and stay strong too. Has it? Or have the two of you gone your separate ways without even realizing it?

2. After you've given that some thought and hopefully come up with some ideas, talk to your spouse. I mean really talk, talk like you probably haven't talked to each other in years. Openly, honestly without anger and resentment. Don't accuse, just suggest. Tell them what you think and ask them what they think. Even though you are both coming at it from different angles, you might just find that you are both on the same page. Talking will help you find out.

3. One of the best things the two of you can do is to find a counselor who can guide you down this path. The two of you have probably had years of poor communication skills and bad habits, it's going to be hard to break those bad habits alone. A counselor can help. A counselor can also act as referee if things start to get a little too heated. If you really want to save your marriage this is usually the best way to go about it.

What you will learn by trying to stop your divorce might just make your marriage even better than it has ever been.You will learn along the way that Communication is the vital key to any relationship.That is talking and listerning to one another.Also finding somebody you both can trust to help direct you through the difficult paths.By just doing that you might have a second chance of making things work out in your favour.

By trying to stop your divorce you just might make your marriage better than it's been in a long time, or maybe better than it's ever been. Just talk to one another, and more importantly, listen to one another. Find someone who can help you navigate this difficult path, and you'll have a very good chance of making things work out just the way you want.Just remember pleading, beging and promises to make changes will not work.

Good Luck

It is always an emotional and difficult move ending a relationship with someone you love.Yes what really makes it that more difficult is when you start second guessing your self and thinking whether you are really making the move.Now it even gets worst when that love guilt sets in.You know that guilt feeling of causing heart break to the person you ones loved or may be you still love by ending or leaving the relationship. Though it is never so easy to breakup, with some forethought you can ease some of that pain and start figuring out where you are going to have the breakup-talk,when,what you are going to say and so on.


Do yourself a favor and think long and hard about it before you actually do it. It's very hard, sometimes impossible, to get back with someone after a breakup so you want to make sure that you're sure this is the best thing to do...before you do it. Don't go off in a huff because the two of you just had a fight. You don't want to have to swallow your pride and eat your words if you've jumped the gun and then had a change of heart.

Of course, if you're being abused, don't allow yourself to be talked out of it. This is the one time that you have got to stand your ground. Other than that, though, take your time while making your decision, no matter what you may think, the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. Make sure you're really ready for all that will happen after the breakup. Don't expect that you'll go out and start dating everyone within a 50 mile radius. It's easy to be a little bored in a relationship and convince yourself that you can do better, but can you? Really? You better be sure.

If after all this soul searching you're still convinced that a breakup is the best way to go, than plan out the best way to go about it. Even though you want out of the relationship that's no reason to be mean and callous to your soon- to- be ex. Try to figure out the kindest and gentlest way to end the relationship. Oh, and don't be a schmuck and breakup with someone right before a major holiday or their birthday. You've waited this long you can wait a few days more. No need to tarnish their big day with memories of a painful breakup.

When it comes time to talk to them, pick a quiet place and take your time. Don't lie to them, be as honest as possible (though if you're already seeing someone else you may want to spare them that detail) but don't back down. You've given this a lot of thought and you're sure this is the right thing to do, so do it. They may cry, threaten and plead but you have to stand firm otherwise you' ll just be repeating the whole scene in a few days or weeks, and who wants to go through that?

Once you've done it and the two of you are through, don't give into temptation and call them, and don't take their calls if they call you either. You both have to move on and since you're the one who ended the relationship it's up to you to be the 'strong' one and cut off all contact. You may be tempted to talk to them, especially if the whole dating everyone within 50 miles thing hasn't worked out quite the way you planned, but don't. Make a clean break.

Though you can not take away the pain and make things a little better when ending a relationship with someone you love,you can how ever handle the whole thing in a responsible and compassionate way so it might be a little easy for your ex.

If you’re stuck in a miserable relationship feeling lost and confused about what you should do—wishing someone, anyone, could help you out of your misery… Susan's Free 7 days Mini-ecaurse can be your life-line

Which relationships in your life nourish you? Which of your relationships are more like junk food to your soul?

Junk food relationships are those that are just for fun. The relationship remains a surface-type relationship; you talk about lots of things, except what really matters to you. Junk food relationships never require that you deal with any real problems or that you share difficult feelings. These relationships, although they may be a lot of fun, can sometimes feel kind of empty.

Nourishing relationships are the ones where you know and are known by another person. Joy and delight are shared and celebrated. Faults and problems are not hidden. You chose to love, in spite of knowing that you each have imperfections. Building intimacy nourishes your soul. It may be challenging and uncomfortable at times, but these are the kind of relationships that can last a lifetime and more.

Difficult relationships are not necessarily junk food relationships. Difficult relationships can provide us with wonderful gifts: the opportunity to grow, the opportunity to learn about our self and another, the opportunity to forgive and to heal and the challenge to discipline our self to be our best even when someone else chooses not to be their best.

The trick, just as with food, is to find a balance between junk food relationships and nourishing relationships. However, unlike food, junk food relationships can be converted into nourishing relationships with an investment of time and effort.

Deepening your relationship means taking a risk. Sharing feelings, asking for help, offering service helps to deepen a relationship. Paying attention to the interests, wants and needs of the other person and really getting to know him/her deepens a relationship. Being honest without being brutal can deepen a relationship. Nourishing relationships may involve more risk (what if s/he doesn’t like me as I am); but they are far more fulfilling.

Staying safely distant may protect you from rejection or disapproval, but it also does not allow you to get to know those people who would embrace you and accept you as you are.

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

I was just wondering before writing this article,whether affair relationship do really last? If you are thinking to leave your spouse to give a go on a relationship that started as an affair, I will kindly advice you to think again about the consequences that surrounds such a move.
It's very tough to keep a relationship going if it has started off by both of you lying and cheating. For one thing you're both going to have a real problem trusting each other. I mean, you both know that you've both cheated, how can you ever really be sure that you won't each cheat on each other? Even if the two of you can overcome that, there are still all the other issues to consider.

For one thing, are there kids involved? This is by far the hardest situation to work through. No one wants to hurt their kids and it will be virtually impossible for the kids to ever feel warm fuzziest for the person who broke their other parent's heart (at least that's the way the kids will see it. More than likely they'll let their cheating parent largely off the hook and blame the other man/woman).

Even if there aren't kids involved, you have to remember that this relationship is just like any other: it starts off hot and passionate, but can you keep that alive? Your marriage probably started off that way too and look where that is.

One of the biggest reasons the two of you felt so free in the first place was because you didn't share any responsibilities. The day to day grind is almost always what slowly works it's way between couples and causes the problems. You have to be realistic enough to recognize that the very same thing will happen between the two of you over time. Your brand new 'soul-mate' may not seem so brand new in five or ten years... just like your spouse.

Of course, having considered all of these facts there still remains one question you have to ask yourself, do you still love your spouse? If you can honestly say that you just don't feel love for your spouse (and I'm not talking about the fireworks, tingling toes feeling that always fades and changes in any relationship) than despite the pain it will cause you might be doing them a favor in the long run by leaving.

If it comes to that, it's best for everyone involved if you don't let them know that the catalyst for the breakup is your affair. That is one secret you should keep to yourself. Just let your spouse know that the marriage is over and be as compassionate as possible.

Actually I think affair relationships usually never works.How ever if such a relationship had a seed germinating before you got married to your spouse then you can give it a try if that same fire burns within you.For example if you are having an affair with your former ex or high school sweet heart.But still you have to take in to consideration how the relationship ended.If it ended with a problem between both of you then it still not worth it to leave your spouse because that same problem might still replay especially if none of you have changed.But if the break up was for a reason none of you could help solving for example distance or lost of contact then it might work and I say might because you are cheating on your spouse and there will always be that point of trust.
What do you think? Drop your opinion in the comment box below

Really you should know by now that not marriages can be saved from divorce or break up.It is obvioce that not all two people are compatible.sometimes two partners can not make trhiks work.However there are also the infidelity problem which the other patner can not just move past it.


If you or your spouse has been unfaithful but you both feel that there is still something in the relationship worth saving, it's time for a gut check. Don't think that the road to save your marriage will be smooth or short. You had better prepare for a rough ride, and it's going to have a much better chance of working if you enlist the help of a professional counselor to help clear the path, as much as possible.

Here's a few things to keep in mind:

1. If the person who committed the adultery is a serial cheater, why stay at all? Come on,who are you kidding? No matter how much you may love them, they are flawed. They aren't ever going to change they are just going to make your life miserable at best, and at worst they'll bring some nasty disease home and clear out your bank account. Leave.

If this was a one time lapse in judgment, and let's be honest, in the right circumstances any of us could have one, than you might have a chance but only if the offending party is truly sorry and will, or already has, stopped seeing the other person. If they won't commit 100% to making things work, it won't work. Again, it's best to leave.

2. As hard as it may be to face, it might help if the two of you could talk openly about what they found so irresistible in the other person. It's going to hurt, but the reality is that people don't cheat for sex, though that is part of it, they cheat because they get something from the other person that they don't get from their spouse.

Sometimes it can be something 'real' like feeling needed or loved. Other times it's not 'real' it's childish, like feeling like they are the only one that matters in the relationship. Finding out what the attraction was might help the two of you recapture something that has been lost in your relationship, something that you may not even have realized was gone.

3. It's very important to the long term health of your relationship that the person who was cheated on can find a way to not throw it up in their partner's face every time there is a fight. And that will be hard. But unless you can truly forgive and forget, it won't work out.

On the other side of the coin, the person who strayed must understand that it can take a lifetime for their partner to really ever trust them again. Sorry, that's just the way it is.

However as a matter fact the person who went astray most own up to it,period.You know using the classic line that most people use for example "my wife/husband just doesn't understand me" will not help here.Why? Because you are asguilty as,may be more guilty in the failing of your marriage as your spouse.Do not kill your self because you did it,No..No.. instead admite what you did period and you will become a better person for it

If the two of you try hard enough you will easily get over it in no time.Think about these questions and they might help you to work on you marriage before you break up.
What are the reasons you might want to stay together:

* For the kids?

* It would be too expensive?

* You're afraid to be alone?

* For the security?

* It's against your religion?

* You're concerned about what everyone might think?

What if I told you it doesn't matter why you want to stay together, it only matters that you do.

That's all it takes to make the program Affair Repair work for you, that is not only to save your marriage, but actually make it better than it was before.

If you're reading this article, I guess you've just got out of a relationship. It doesn't matter if it was a mutual decision, your decision or if the decision was made for you, it's still a very difficult thing to go through. Most of us would like to end the suffering and pain (and maybe guilt) as soon as possible but many people turn to the wrong things and the wrong people to help them get over a breakup. Avoid making the mistakes that will only add to your pain in the long run, use these after relationships help tips so you can move on quickly and with your dignity.


When it comes to handling a breakup there are two distinct lists you need to follow: a list of what to do and a list of what not to do. If you follow both lists you can move on a lot easier. Here are the dos and don'ts:

DO:

Enjoy yourself. Have fun (as much as possible at least). Even though it may seem impossible if you surround yourself with a good group of friends you can actually have a little fun during this time, you just have to let yourself. Allow yourself to be distracted and don't hang on to your pain, try to learn to let it go or at least learn to put it (and leave it) in the back of your mind. Spending time with your pals doing fun things can help you accomplish that goal.

Go for that makeover you've been thinking about. Now is a great time to focus on you in a positive way. It may be time to get n shape, move, learn a new skill, take up a new hobby, get some new clothes, or just get a new hairstyle. It doesn't have to be big it just needs to be something that will make you feel more positive about yourself and the future and give you a reason to smile.

Only allow yourself to think about your relationship from the standpoint of what you can learn from your mistakes. This is not the time to wallow and obsess over every conversation and all the endless what ifs. This is the time to analyze what went wrong and what you can do in your next relationship to make sure you don't repeat the same mistakes. This may mean that you redefine the type of person you become involved with in the first place.


DON'T:

Don't try to talk your ex into getting back with you. Even if there is a chance that the two of you can reconcile some day, you need to give things time so you can be sure you are getting back together for the right reasons and not just because you're afraid of being lonely. Give it time.

Don't rewind every conversation and every comment to death. As I said above, any time you think of your relationship it should be from the standpoint of what can I do better next time and not what should I have done differently this time.

Don't hook up with everyone you find. That is not fair to you or the new person in your life. They don't deserve to feel like they are second string just because you are hurting. Just keep your social interactions restricted to family and friends and put the romance on hold for a while.

In all aspects of life we can be challenged to find the right path and to do the right things. This is very true when it comes to finding constructive things to do to help you move on after relationships end. By following the simple common sense advice above you will greatly improve your chances of moving on more quickly, with less pain, and with less baggage. Don't make things harder than they already are, use your head while your heart is mending.