Although all relationships are different,there are usually similar when it comes to those warning signs of a breakup which by the way is always wise to look out for.knowing this signs will avoid your chances of splitting up with you lover.Below are the 3 warning signs of a break up

1) The first is the green light when your partner is ignoring you.

This does not mean that there is no talking or communication or any of that no,no, actually by ignoring I mean when every thing is still normal,when the light is still green,but your partner starts loosing interest in you.when they stop asking you how you are,what you are feeling or even were you were?

When this is happening stop for a while and think why your partner could be ignoring you? Have you forgotten his or her birthday or some other special event? Have you been less than loving lately? Is he or she feeling neglected? People usually react over something they feel has happened. This could just be their perception but as he or she is your lover and you should be trying to keep him/her happy, you need to understand his/her point of view.

So why not surprise your partner with a nice meal, sit down and ask them what is going on? Why are they grumpy, although I would probably phrase that question a little better! It could be that they are preoccupied with a problem totally outside your relationship. Communication between couples is not always what it should be; so try talking. Who knows where it may lead?

2) The Yellow light is when your partner doesn’t want to see you or go out with you.

If your lover suddenly becomes unavailable and too busy to see you, the red warning light should go on but wait . There most be a reason why they are avoiding you and you need to find out what that is. Don’t be a doormat or perhaps I should say bedmat. There is no excuse, for not facing your boyfriend or girlfriend, to find out why they think it is acceptable to behave like this. Whatever you do, do not ignore these signals or you could find yourself in receipt of a break up letter.

3) The worst is the Red light which is when your partner is distant in the bedroom

Though sex is only a 3 letter word, it can cause huge problems. Just ask any couple who has been together a long time. Sometimes your family or life’s issues can get in the way of your lovemaking. It is also a well known fact, that the initial burst of animal attraction usually doesn’t last, so not making love every night is quite normal. What is not normal is not being intimate for months on end. Couples are held together by shared emotions and feelings. So don’t underestimate the power of a cuddle.

Although sometimes your partners mood will have nothing to do with your actions,it is always important to note it as an indication of trouble brewing.I guess i am trying to say You should always know when your partner is happy and when he or she is not.Because until you start paying attention and looking out for the above warning signs of a breakup, you will soon find yourself newly single and thinking what most have gone wrong.

Am I In Or Am I Out?

Fear is something that we have all experienced to a greater or lesser extent. When we allow the fear of making a mistake to paralyze us we miss out on the opportunity to grow. Living life based on fear, breeds discontent. Some people are afraid to fully commit to the relationship that they have because they are constantly on the look out for what they might be missing. They, “what if” themselves to death.

They prevent themselves from creating a truly satisfying relationship by harboring this niggling doubt that maybe there is someone better out there somewhere. Any time things get a little rough in their relationship; they start to wonder if they have made a mistake. Any relationship where partners are only half is going to feel less than perfect.

Rather than endlessly searching for your soul mate, you may want to put your energy into creating a soul-mate relationship. The more you increase the intimate bonds in your relationship, the more you will feel like soul mates. There may be no perfect person for you. But you can build a great relationship despite being less than perfect for each other.

It is time to get down off the fence, what is it that you want out of your relationship? What are you willing to put into your relationship to help that happen? If you want someone who loves you unconditionally, then you must be willing to love unconditionally. If you want respect you must give respect.

Elbert Hubbard said, “The greatest mistake you can make in life is continually to be fearing you will make one.” Being fearless in your relationship isn’t about fighting dragons, it is about conquering self-doubt and self-sabotage. It is about being fully present in the relationship that you have. Become alive to the possibilities.

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

This is a most read article for women who want to know why men leave relationships so they can learn to keep their relationship intact. Due to the misconceptions that are rooted from our society, we humans have the tendency to make things complicated than they already are


You most have heard the saying: "Men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love". The problem is, that doesn't have to be the way it is. While there might be some truth to that it just perpetuates a common flaw in our way of thinking: that men want and need sex more than women and that sex is all men need to be happy.

That's simply not true. For the most part men and women have similar sex drives but our society, and really throughout history, men have been encouraged to 'sow their wild oats' and women have been told they have to be 'good girls'. So men are used to giving in to their desires and women are used to putting their desires on hold.

No wonder relationships seem like such a challenge! Half the population doesn't feel like they have any control over their urges and the other half feels like their urges are wrong!

For anyone who wants a stable loving relationship you will need to re-think many of the concepts you were brought up to believe. The truth is that anyone, men or women, will leave unfulfilled relationships and all but the shallowest people want to be fulfilled in many ways not just sexually.

In order to really have a loving long term relationship you need to have connections: physical, spiritual, and emotional. These are necessary for the success of any long term relationship. All people want to feel like they are accepted, understood, desired, and loved by their partners.

Most often relationships starts breaking up when one or more of these needs aren't met. So if you want to know why men leave relationships so you can prevent it from happening to you, it is important to connect with your man physically, spiritually, and emotionally, and both of you will be happy, fulfilled, and committed to the relationship forever.


Discover The secret to understanding men -- and using it to your advantage

Relationship Failure or Success—You Choose

Laurence Shames wrote, “Success and failure. We think of them as opposites, but they ‘re really not. They’re companions—the hero and the sidekick.” To have any real success in building an intimate relationship, we must be willing to risk failing.

How often does the fear of failure keep people from reaching their potential? The common defense mechanism, to not try in order to avoid failure, is a shabby defender at best.

We fool ourselves into believing that we do not care, that it is not important, or that we didn’t want it anyway to protect our ego from the uncomfortable feelings that accompany what we think of as failure. It is time to redefine failure—to change our perspective and accept that mistakes are an important part of life. Mistakes do not mean failure. Decide to restructure your thoughts. Learn to see mistakes in a positive light. Consider that there is no failure—there is only feedback.

The fear of failing stifles many otherwise promising relationships. The belief that relationships are doomed to fail, sets us up to watch for and amplify any little sign of trouble. With our radar set to pick up on any problems, we will easily find evidence to support our fears. Which makes us more vigilant, resulting in seeing more signs of trouble. We begin a downward spiral, which erodes our relationship.

Imagine the effect on a relationship if instead of fear, we had hope. What might happen if we set our radar to pick up on evidence of strength in our relationship? What if we watched for and amplified any little sign of success? We would inevitably find what we were looking for, leading to more hope. Take the challenge to create an upward spiral in your relationship. See problems as learning opportunities—information about what is not working and a chance to find something that does work.

Perhaps we could adopt the attitude of Edison, “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

If your wife or your girlfriend just left you, you may want to know "why women leave men." The truth is there can be several reasons and it is probably not what you may be thinking of.

In anylong term relationship things pile up. Little frustrations, hurts, insensitive remarks can all add up over a period of time and each little thing is like a brick in a wall. After a while you will have one very big wall. That's the point where one party will throw their hands up and say 'Enough!" and leave. The important thing is to make sure your relationship never gets to that point.

One thing you have to do is un-learn much of what you've been told about women and what they want. If you think women are needy, and high maintenance you need to re-evaluate your thinking (of course some women are that way, but not most of them). While this may sound stupid here is something you should try: stop thinking of your woman as a woman, instead think of her as a person. Treat her the same way you like people to treat you.

One of the biggest mistakes men make is they either treat their woman like a whore, a surrogate mommy, or they go to the complete opposite side of the spectrum and put her on a pedestal where they treat her like she's made of porcelain. The best thing to do is treat her like a human being: a unique individual that has her own mind, needs, and wants. Get to know the real woman, not the person you want her to be, or think she should be.

Don't lump all women together. Don't assume your wife or girlfriend likes a certain thing or should act a certain way just because some other woman (or your mom) does. More than likely you have several male friends. Do you treat each one of them the exact same way, or do you modify your behaviour (slightly) for each unique relationship you have?

Women leave men because they are unsatisfied in one way or another. Each relationship is different but at the end of the day your wife or girlfriend will leave because she is not getting enough of her needs met, it's as simple as that.

Most women want their husband or boyfriend to be a friend and confidant. They want someone who acts like they actually like them. Many men don't act like they even like their women and they certainly don't treat them like a trusted friend.

Women have sexual needs just like men. Our society has done a huge disservice to men and women because it tells men they have this huge sex drive and that it's ok to pick up women whenever they want to and that women have to be 'good girls' who will only have sex with their husband.

The fact of the matter is, that is not true. Women have the same sex drive as men, they are just conditioned to not act on it whenever the whim hits them. What women don't want is to think that their man only wants them for sex. Women will often disconnect from their men physically because even though they like sex they also like non-sexual physical contact and many men think they have to turn every incident of physical contact into a sexual encounter. After a while your woman won't even want you to touch her, and she'll find someone else.

So to avoid having your girlfriend or wife leave you may want to start by answering the question: "why women leave men?" Treating your girlfriend or wife like someone whom you like and love may be by following if not all, some of these simple relationship tips and you will see the difference in your relationship. It will last a life time plus you will be a happy man for ever no matter the crises you all pass through

Relationship Algebra

A good relationship is like an algebra equation. Both sides of the equation must be equal. An example would be:

Love + Integrity = Honesty + Trust

How does this work? If you have a strong sense of personal integrity, which you honor, and you love your partner within the bounds of that integrity you will receive trust in turn from your partner. She or he will trust you with their love, their intimate secrets and dreams. They know and feel your love for them and understand the depth of commitment your integrity allows you to forge. This fact alone allows them to be honest with you.

Honesty is not just being verbally truthful, not telling lies and not leaving things out, although that is a very important part of being honest. Honesty is also about giving your all to the relationship, not holding back waiting for the next bad thing to happen. It is about being there in the bad times and the good times. It is sharing both of those with the one you love.

Being honest means that you don’t sugar coat things to make them more palatable. You face up to your own fears and anxieties. You accept the responsibility of meeting your own needs and assisting your partner do the same. It means saying the hard things and doing the tough things when needed.

In any relationship it is all about balance and feeling equal. You want to have a happy successful relationship; do the math.

“A man content to go to heaven alone will never go to heaven.” Boethius

Dallas Munkholm, B.A., B.Com., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

So can getting back together after a very long time apart work? That will really depend on how much you and your ex want it to happen and what caused the split up in the first place.If your friends and family are behind you, You are more likely to succeed.

Often we break up when we are young, as we are both immature and just don't know what we have; until we lose it. Other times we can kill off a relationship, because we relocate with our jobs or our families. Often the break up has nothing to do with the people involved just the timing or distance is wrong.

But sometimes there were specfic reasons why we broke up and if these reasons still exist, then you need to work out why you want to get back together. Absence can make the heart grow fonder but be aware that memories get distorted and you could be remembering events that didn't quite happen that way. Experts call this the "rose coloured glasses" effect.

However, if you are thinking of getting back together after a long time apart, there must be a physical and emotional attraction between the two of you. Physical attraction is great and this is what generally brings couples together initially. But unless it is accompanied or followed over time by an emotional connection, the physical stuff just isn't enough to sustain a relationship.

Long term successful partnerships are based on mutual respect, love and commitment. If you miss out any of these three key ingredients your chances of spending your twilight years together diminish. I know that Hollywood films would have you believe that a great romance is based on lust and physical attraction. You can be easily fooled into thinking the man just has to sweep you off your feet and you will live happily ever after.

Unfortunately, real life isn't like that and you will have certain trials to face as a couple. A couple who are deeply committed to each other, on every level, is much more likely to survive the problems; real life throws at them.

Perhaps you two were together for a long time. Maybe you even had a family together before you split up. If this is the case, you need to be sure that you are getting back together for the right reasons and not because your kids want you to. Just as a couple should never stay with each other solely for the sake of their children, nor should they get romantically involved again for this reason.

Getting back together after a very long time apart usually can be very exciting . But it will be better to slow down things and who knows, may be marriage or a remarriage may just be waiting for you on the other site.

I wish you the best

When you and your partner are facing relationships difficulty at the best of times, may be an additional help is all you both need. So where can you find such a help for a troubled relationship?

If you and your partner are still speaking, why not make a date together at your favorite restaurant. A public place is great for a chat about your feelings as you are more likely to keep your temper under control. You cannot let your cosy chat descend into a shouting match or you will disturb the other diners.

Sometimes a little work and some private chats are all that is needed to sort out the troubles in a relationship. Life gets so busy that it is easy to lose track of our loved ones and to end up ignoring them or causing them to feel neglected. A few "couple only nights" may be all you both need to get back on track.

If you cannot talk alone, why not ask a trusted friend or family member to act as mediator. This can be a difficult step to take and not one that you should enter into lightly. You must pick someone who has the ability to act impartially. This is not the time for any third party to be taking sides.

What you are looking for is someone who can help you and your partner to talk openly about the problems you are having. Someone who has been in a long term relationship, for a long period of time, will probably better understand the difficulties a couple can face. Single people may understand the theory but not having had the practice will find it difficult to dispense advice.

Often it is not possible for you to find a suitable friend or family member so why not try couple counselling? People believe that these services are only available for married couples but that is not the case. There are some services dedicated to those that are married but others are for couples who live together or share time together.

Check your local phone directory to see what services are available. Be careful when choosing your advisor though. If possible, go on a personal recommendation. Your doctor or religious adviser may be able to help. Or ask your counsellor if they have clients who are willing to give them a testimonial.

It is much better if both of you meet the counsellor as it is important you are both comfortable talking to this person. You will be discussing intimate details and this is impossible if you do not like the counsellor. They will probably want to meet you together as a couple and perhaps separately as well. Find out how many meetings you will be expected to attend and when you are likely to see results.

The good thing about it all is that, if you both seek help for a troubled relationship, you both stand a better chance of solving your problems and going back to the happy couple you once were.