If your man has dumped you or you fear that he might, then listen up!

As you may know, there are many books that sell advice to help get your man back, but these books really tick me off.

Why?


The problem is that most of these “get him back” books usually say things like, “just don't pursue him and he may eventually come back.” What kind of advice is that? Especially when you pay money for it! And worst of all, most of these books PROMISE they'll get your man back. How can they possibly promise a 100% success rate when there are 1000's of possible scenarios you could experience?

However, you'll be pleasantly surprised that yesterday I stumbled across a book that is both practical and honest in its advice towards getting him back. I give it my utmost recommendation.

Check it out here…

Christmas is such a magical time of the year.I don't know whether during this time it is the music,the chrismas tree and lights that makes it so magical.May be its just because most people grew up with the memories of so much love around them during this time of the year.May be because it is the time of the year that most adults become kids again.

What ever the reason i know it is not just a special period for me but for many.It is also a period when gifts are being exchanged between lovers.Although you know for sure that your lover is going to give you a gift you still can't wait to see what he/she will give you.

That period of waiting till i get my gift is usually for me the best time because it keeps me hopeful of the different type of gifts i might get.

You can take advantage of such a time like christmas and create some wonderful memories of love with you partner.For example Trimming and decorating a Chrismas tree can have a lot of wonderful and romantic memories. Here is a unique and creative idea and tradition Sunny shared about THE 12 DAY TREE.

Submitted by: Sunny

I have a small artificial Christmas tree that fits perfectly on the nightstand in my bedroom. I decorate it with tiny white lights (great mood lighting at night!) and hang 12 small pieces of paper that are rolled up and tied with a piece of gold ribbon. On each piece of paper I write a special message such as "one back rub" or "one long kiss" (you get the idea!).

My husband gets to take one message off the tree each night for the 12 nights before Christmas. I find that this is a great way to stay connected during the rush and stress of the season and reminds us to take a few moments to enjoy each other. You can get REAL creative with the messages and have a lot of fun redeeming them!!

This year I've included a couple small wrapped items for under the tree...a small bottle of oil and a scented candle are a couple of the things I've tucked under there. When my husband takes a message off the tree that says "pick a gift" he will have several to choose from.

Why not copy what sunny did and reignite your relationship while making memories that will last with your partner during this magical time of Christmas.

Do not forget to share with us some "101 Christmas Tree Romantic ideas" ideas of yours during this period in the comment box below.

At Christmas Give Your All

At this Christmas season we should give ourselves a present. We give money to the guys in Santa suits ring the bells in the mall, we give small secret Santa gifts at the office and most of us have our favorite charities we give too over the Christmas season. Our kids usually get spoiled rotten, even after we say they can’t have this or that. Parents, friends and family all get their little love gift from us and most of all; our partners get gifts from us.

We give out money, cards, gifts and love. By the time Christmas day rolls around we are so worn out and exhausted we can’t find anything else to give and we don’t have the energy to do it. Most of us have a list and we check it twice so that we don’t forget uncle John or great-aunt Edna. The paper-boy, the secretary, the teachers and the mailman all want their piece of us.

The TV is filled with advertisements showing big-eyed, starving children or under privileged families living on nothing and expecting us to help some more. This is all well and good but it can leave us tired, bewildered and cranky. So take some time out for you, and some time for your relationship.

What is it that makes you happy? Is there something you would like just for yourself, a massage, a nap or a long leisurely soak? What about for your partner and your relationship? You know it is not a selfish gesture to take some thing for yourself; in fact it is a smart thing to do. The more you feel relaxed, refreshed and rejuvenated the better others will feel around you.

The biggest piece of advice I can give you for your relationship is take some time together. Make plans for an intimate evening over the holidays, a quiet lunch or coffee. At all times just be there for each other, to listen, to commiserate, to validate. Be ready at times to put your plans on the back burner for the moment and just be with your partner. Thomas S Monson has said; “He who gives money, gives much; he who gives time, gives more, but he who gives of himself gives all.”

Be prepared to give your all this season to help make your partner feel cherished and loved.

Dallas Munkholm, B.A., B.Com., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

Don’t Do That! Demands in Relationships

In our relationships, how much of our time is spent telling others what not to do? Telling people not to do something does not help them know what they should be doing. What it does tend to do, is invite defensiveness and resistance.

Another chunk of our time is spent on telling others what to do—generally with no better results. Again what we get is defensiveness and resistance.

Think of what it is like to be told what to do or what not to do. How many of us respond well to demands? Trying to change or control others behavior tends to be a losing battle—and it often becomes a battle when their defensiveness sets off our defensiveness and so on.

This does not mean that you have to give up wanting your relationships to be better. What it does mean is that there is a better way to approach a partner, child, parent or friend.

The first thing to do is identify the need behind your demand. What is it about what they are doing or not doing that bothers you? Which of your needs is not being met? Is the need to feel safe, accepted, loved, important, or a need for variety?

Once you have identified the need, then your job is to self-soothe. Hang on to yourself and do your best to meet that need for yourself. Approve of, love, and accept yourself. Remember, no one can make you feel bad without your permission. Although it may not always seem like it, you choose how you feel and react.

The next step is to turn your complaint into a specific, positive request. Instead of saying, “Don’t do that,” you say, “Would you please do this.” If you have successfully self-soothed, this statement will feel like a request rather than a demand. Requests, especially those made when you feel at peace and good about yourself, are often much more successful in prompting relationship improvements.

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

A Christmas gift for a lifetime.

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” Anne Frank

One of the best gifts a married couple can give each other is a change in focus. It is often our focus in the relationship that can cause pain, hurt, disagreements and miscommunications. As Joe Vitale teaches, what we focus on we get more of. Therefore the smart thing to do is focus on what we want in our relationship. Happiness. Joy. Friendship. Love.

If you have ever suffered, even a little bit, from depression you will know how physically draining it is. What needs to be understood is that being negative takes more energy than being positive. That may seem a little silly but it is true. You may have heard people say, “It takes more energy to frown than to smile,” and that too is true.

So what has this to do with a change in focus? As couples, the focus should be on the positive rather than the negative. This will infuse your relationship with energy. Couples should be looking for the positive things their partner does and what good things he or she brings to the relationship. Instead of finding fault they should be finding characteristics that are uplifting, fun, joyful, and happy or in other words look for the good.

This includes the disagreements that pop up every once in a while. How this works is that instead of beating each other over the head with the “you should have’s”, the “why didn’t you’s,” the “what did you do’s,” you should be supportive, be positive, and validate their experience. Try to be understanding and caring. Just an aside here; validating or understanding does not mean agreement. You can still disagree but you can also understand what and why your partner is feeling and be supportive by telling him/her that you can understand why s/he would feel like that. This type of behavior builds the relationship, while blaming, criticizing and denying tears the relationship down.

A great place to start is by asking your self, “What can I do to make my marriage a better place to be?” Ask the tough questions of yourself. Do I understand what my spouse is feeling and why? Can I give him/her a little support and encouragement if what s/he is doing is not what I would do? Then comes the really tough one and you need to be brutally honest with yourself. What do I bring to this disagreement, what signals is my partner picking up from me? Does s/he feel the love and support I want to give him/her?

A great place to work from is the certain knowledge that your partner loves and supports you in what you are doing. Trying to change your partner to meet your needs and expectations is like trying to eat soup with a fork. Frustrating. So shift the focus from me to us. The question becomes what can I do to make this marriage work instead of what is s/he doing wrong. Make your relationship solution oriented, rather than problem oriented. When a problem happens try looking for a way out that makes you both winners, because if one is winner then the other is a loser. Not Good. So look to the future in your relationship not the past.
Andy Warhol says, “They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.” So for Christmas this year give your partner your new attitude and a big smile. It takes less energy.

Dallas Munkholm, B.A., B.Com., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

I have a friend of mine who has been telling me how the
law of attraction is helping him get what ever he wants.At first i was not interested in what he was saying until i got up one day not so long ago and decided i was going to research a little about this law of attraction and see how i can use it to improve a part in my relationship that was not working effectively as i wanted.

The wikipedia defines the law of attraction as "people's thoughts (both conscious and unconscious) dictate the reality of their lives, whether or not they're aware of it."Essentially what i understood is that if one thinks or duel on a particular thought and truly believe it's possible,that thought will become a reality.

So that in effect is that when one think of some thing positive he/she will definitely get that positive thing but putting a lot of attention and thought onto something you don't want or negative means you'll probably get that too.

That right there my friend is what caught my attention.Wouldn't it be cool if you need any thing all you do is think and believe in it and bingo you get it.Just like closing your eyes and make a wish and before you open it $$$.Well that was enough to push me go further with my research.So what i did next was i got a DVD called the Secret which duels more deeply about this law of attraction thing.

After watching this kind of a documentary i was really pumped up about this notion of asking the universe for what ever i want, which i like to look at now as asking my God what i want.So I decided to put it in action.What i did was i put an alarm tune(that's a tune of a laughing child)on my clock.

The next morning the alarm went off and this child (my alarm tune)was laughing non stop so i got up from my bed with my fiance all laughing too because we could not resist the fun of that Tune.Remembering why i put the tune in the first place i wished for a day of no problems what so ever.

You will not believe what happened to me, there are certain things that my fiance says that makes me a little angry with her but this morning was different she said it and it had no impact on me it was so OK.To cut the long story short it was one of those days that one says "Today was a great" day on the dinner table.

Actually things are getting better and better every day as i try to think all positive things about my relationship and though they are things i can deal with them, it is even better having it gone just by thinking it is not there any more.Just try to put this in action and you can come back here and share your experience by posting a comment in this blog.

If you have gone though the experience about how the law of attraction is improving your relationship do not leave with out sharing it here i will like to know what others thing about it all till next time take care and i wish you a happy day today as i do my self.

I was fooling around the net today and i came across this article by Trent Brownrigg and it kind of touched me personally 'cause i had gone through the feeling of how to tell my love how much i love her with out her thinking i am joke.knowing fully well that there are many people out there like me looking for ways to say those words IN A SPECIAL WAY. So i thought dropping this article will help us all to do what we always wanted to do and that is to say I LOVE YOU IN A SPECIAL WAY.
by: Trent Brownrigg


Remember the words from an old song...

"Be sure it's true when you say I love you, it's a sin to tell a lie".

The concept of "sin" has lost its meaning for many in our modern era, and even "love" has lost a significant portion of its importance.

If you still believe in "falling in love" then you will realize how difficult it is to say, "I love you" in a meaningful way. Three little words that can change your life forever. The words, themselves, have lost their meaning because of overuse, especially when it's not really true. Everybody says them, for many different reasons, even if they don't mean them.

However, when you really want tell your partner of your love it's such a hard decision to make for many reasons. Will your partner return your love? Will your partner simply accept your declaration with indifference? Will he or she feel threatened? It is such a common problem that even "The Seinfeld Show" had an episode on it.

So make it easy on yourself and plan the declaration so that as much as possible you eliminate the problems. The first step, of course, is to be certain you really are in love. If you so enjoy being with your partner that you want to be with him or her to the exclusion of all others, if you think of him or her every day when you are apart, you are probably in love. If you have even a small doubt you should wait a little longer.

If you are certain then plan a special occasion for it. Make it a significant moment in your life - one to remember with fondness for your whole life. Arrange an intimate dinner at your favorite restaurant and make it as romantic as you can. Give him or her a small gift because you love being with them, or you are so glad that you met them.

After dinner while holding your partner intimately gaze intently into their eyes and say, "I love you so much it hurts when we are apart. I hope that we can stay together forever".

Do not be disappointed if your partner does not return your declaration. They may not yet be ready and might need more time to state their feelings. Continue to share with your partner the highs and lows of your partner's life. Care for your partner's happiness and be on guard to protect his happiness.

Under no circumstances should you ever ask your partner, "Do you love me"?

About The Author

Trent Brownrigg

Are you so in love you could die right now and be truly happy? Do you have someone you want to share your feelings with? Find a Love Poem that expresses how you feel at http://www.sweet-love-poems.com.
http://www.ArticleCity.com/

Recommended sites

“Get Your Man Back”
“What Women REALLY Want”
“The Magic of making up”
“The #1 Relationship Collection”
“Never Fight Again”
“Guy Gets Girl”
“Get Her Back... for Good!”
“Drive Your Man WILD!”
“Dating Right &; Marry Well”
“Attract Any Woman!”
“Adult Toys Already in Your House”
“300 Date Ideas”

Recognizing you have a marriage problem is the first step along the road to transforming your marriage, and for most simply acknowledging there is a problem shatters the marriage myth. According to love stories, movies, and fairy tales we are supposed to live 'happily ever after'. But what happens when Snow White develops a drinking problem? What happens when Robin Hood's long working hours start affecting his marriage to Maid Marian? What happens when Cinderella says she has 'fallen out of love'?

We are taught in school how to do sums, how to read and recognize Shakespeare, and how to conduct scientific experiments, but what do we really know about the greatest social experiment of all, namely our ability to keep the love alive in our marriage?

The fact is we know surprisingly little, and from the moment we say "I do," we are literally flying by the seat of our pants. We don't get a manual or a textbook telling us how to get it right, so our marriage becomes an evolving set of experiments, learning and discovering more and more about ourselves and each other, and figuring out what works and what doesn't. Some say if we don't make mistakes we don't really learn, but what do those mistakes cost us, and is the cost too high for some couples?

That's why I have 3 ways to instantly transform your marriage. These are 3 things that you know will work and will help you get your marriage back on track. Let's call this your error-free way to redeem yourself and your marriage in the eyes of your partner and show them that you are committed to making positive changes in your marriage.

The first key to transforming your marriage is to stop looking at your issues on a case-by-case basis. Couples that try to solve arguments by going into the small details of every argument are never really going to deal with the big stuff. I'm talking about the issues that REALLY matter in your marriage, and the issues that keep coming up in every disagreement.

Spend too much time at work? Partner feeling unappreciated? Don't make love as much as you used to? Either of you feeling unfulfilled by your lifestyle or the relationship? Is the communication poor in your relationship? Does your need to always be right override the feelings of your partner? Spend less time worrying about the details and more time examining the issues and themes behind your arguments.

* The issue is your job. The theme behind this may be balance between work and home life.
* The issue is you not doing enough chores. The theme behind may be that you are being invited into making a greater contribution into coupledom.
* The issue is your partner being grumpy with you all the time. The theme is your partner needing to feel validated in the relationship

If you have a greater understanding of what the key themes are behind your marriage issues you are better able to develop effective solutions that will really make a difference.

The second key to transforming your relationship is to examine your beliefs about marriage. It's okay to not have the fairytale marriage. Even the best couples don't always get it right. But what makes the imperfections good or bad is how you choose as a couple to deal with it. When you disagree about something, do you sit down and talk about it, or is your first instinct to deny that there is a problem and hope that it will all go away?

You need to understand that it is okay to be imperfect. In fact, admitting this to yourself and your partner can be one of the most liberating actions you take in transforming your marriage. Admitting your imperfections exposes a vulnerability that can bring you closer together as you find ways to get some meaning out of your issues. Acknowledging that you do make mistakes can open the door to acknowledging that there is a better way to do things, and one of the lessons we are called into as a couple is finding that solution together. Make a list of things that you have learnt since you got married, and a list of areas that you as a couple can both improve on. Then try sharing that list with your partner and ask them to contribute their thoughts.

The third key to transforming your relationship is in recognizing the differences between men and women, and acknowledging the importance of both roles in the relationship. Just because your partner views something different to you doesn't make them wrong, and the same goes for you. There are often several interpretations of the truth, and the key to marriage success is in recognizing that women and men have key fundamental differences in the way they view things. For men, their view may be a much more task-oriented approach to fixing an issue, where a woman may focus more on the emotional process as you both navigate your way through marriage issues. While both approaches are different, with compromise they can both achieve the same result.

Write down 5 themes or issues. Then I want you to write down 5 task-oriented ways of trying to solve the situation. Then list 5 thoughts-based ways of communicating your way to a solution.

The first step to transforming your marriage is in transforming YOU. Being married can be scary enough, but having marriage problems and not knowing how to fix them can be paralyzing! All it takes is the ability to step outside your day-to-day issues and look at different ways of viewing your marriage. Every marriage problem invites you into growing and offers you and your partner the opportunity to learn.

Now it's up to you to take what you have learned and apply it to YOUR marriage. You too can have a fairytale marriage!

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Recommended sites

“Get Your Man Back”
“What Women REALLY Want”
“The Magic of making up”
“The #1 Relationship Collection”
“Never Fight Again”
“Guy Gets Girl”
“Get Her Back... for Good!”
“Drive Your Man WILD!”
“Dating Right &; Marry Well”
“Attract Any Woman!”
“Adult Toys Already in Your House”
“300 Date Ideas”

You will agree with me with me that most people married or still single really believe that “chemistry” or undying love for each other will keep them together forever.As it is commonly said "Love conquers all".

However ,with the growing number of divorces this days,it is most obvious that this isn’t the case.There for knowing a few secrets before getting married will only go a long way to keep most couples together long after tying that knot.

Having known that "love does NOT conquer all",here are some tips to help keep couples,keep that magic in their relationship.

* PRAISES;

You will not believe how powerful praising your partner can play in your relationship.Looking back in my own relationship i stop praising my wife as our relationship matured.This was mainly because i was assuming at that time that she already knows what i was thinking about her.

Actually a day should never go by with out you praising your partner.If you want to be loved and romanced by your sweetheart, love and romance them first. When
they're feeling loved, it is much easier to love in
return.

*REGULAR DATING

Most people thing dating is only for those who are getting to know each other.Well i am here to tell you it's for those who are in a relationship as well.Doing new,fresh and special things keeps a relationship alive.

There is some thing about dating that i can only express with a word "magic".That time you getting yourself prepared just to go out for a date and when you are actually on the date is magical.

You get naturally drawn close together during this time and above all you get to have more uninterrupted time to communicant on a deeper level.

*KEEPING IT REAL

Statistically it's been proven that couples who get married after a longer period of dating have a significantly lower rate of divorce than those who married after a short dating period.

Keep it real let it be natural what is the haste all about.Its not like your are scared if you wait one more month some thing drastic will happen and even if it does it was meant to be whether in marriage or not.

Asking someone for his or her hand in marriage on
the third date isn't romantic. It's gambling.

*UNDERSTANDING

Isn't it true that most couples that have problems always have this to say about the other person"I just don't understand him/her."

Make it your utmost priority to understand each
other 'inside-out' BEFORE you take that walk down
the aisle.

You don't need to be identical, but make an effort
to learn about the things that interest your
partner in life and you'll grow closer as a result.

*ASKING QUESTIONS

What affect most married couples in their relationship is the question they ask to each other and most importantly how they ask the questions.
One of the biggest reason marriages end in divorce is because couples fail to ask the right questions.

Spending quality time with your significant other,and asking each other the right but tough questions BEFORE or during marriage, you're much more likely to live happily ever after.


Michael Webb is the author of “1000 Questions For
Couples" the most comprehensive book of questions
that all couples should ask before getting married.
Covering lovemaking, religion, careers, money,
children & raising them, household work,
personalities, the future and much much more. To
learn more, visit:THIS LINK


Recommended sites

“Get Your Man Back”
“What Women REALLY Want”
“The Magic of making up”
“The #1 Relationship Collection”
“Never Fight Again”
“Guy Gets Girl”
“Get Her Back... for Good!”
“Drive Your Man WILD!”
“Dating Right &; Marry Well”
“Attract Any Woman!”
“Adult Toys Already in Your House”
“300 Date Ideas”