Who Says Life Has To Be Hard?

Having a sense of humor and playfulness are vital to the health of any relationship. The ability to see the lighter side of life, helps us to cope with difficulties and keep things in perspective. In your relationship, how often do you smile? Does your smile reach all the way to your eyes?

If your relationship lacks joy, humor, laughing and play, then it is time for some serious reinventing. Some people mistakenly believe that laughing and play are childish. However, a healthy sense of humor is an important part of maturity. Play is not just for children, it can help us to relax, improve our brain functioning, get our creative juices flowing and just make life more fun.

Give yourself permission to have fun. Make a list of things that are fun for you. If you struggle trying to make this list and you are having trouble coming up with ideas of what you enjoy, it is all the more important that you pay attention to you. What is it that makes you smile? When do you feel the most relaxed and happy? Answering questions like these may give you clues to your own personal fun list.

Playing and laughing together helps couples connect and creates a sense of intimacy that will help them weather the inevitable bumps in the road. Perhaps the couple that plays together, stays together.

Many times in life we can see the humor in difficult situations months or years after they have happened. A valuable skill to learn is to find a way to lighten the mood in the moment. Don’t take yourself or life too seriously. SMILE. It can make all the difference.

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine

Why You Need A Spine

Having a spine means respecting and honoring yourself. When you have a spine you know what you stand for, or what values are important to you and you don’t compromise your values or give up your self in order to please or pacify others.

You need to develop a spine, because no one else can do it for you. Others may at times stand up for you, but that doesn’t give you a spine. This is an inside job.

Developing a spine allows you to guard your integrity and integrity is a major component of self-esteem. If your opinion or behavior changes as your surroundings change you will be left with little or no sense of self. It takes confidence to state your opinion and stand up for yourself. Confident, assertive people generally have high self-esteem. However, behaving like you are confident and assertive can boost your self-esteem.

Don’t confuse standing up for yourself with being aggressive and mistreating others. It is important to be courteous to others as you stand on your own two feet.

Take a stand based on principle not preference. When you respect yourself you also respect others. People are entitled to have their own thoughts, opinions, beliefs and values. Just because someone does not agree with you does not make him or her wrong. They are just different. Learn to accept and enjoy the differences.

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine